This blog contains opinions, experiences, thoughts and observations of the author from his day to day living.
It is subject to comments, criticisms and corrections, and all will be dealt with constructively and do leave your comments I would love to hear from you.
There is no intention to offend, discriminate nor degrade anybody or anything for that matter, only shared feelings, emotions and angsts at the moment.
Welcome to my world.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Only Time - Enya

As the New Year comes, I'd like to dedicate this song from one of my favorite artist, Enya, called Only Time to all of you. The song just says it all, what lies ahead of us, only time will tell...


Who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

And who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...

Who can say why your heart sighs,
As your love flies?
Only time...

And who can say why your heart cries,
When your love lies (dies)?
Only time...

Who can say when the roads meet,
That love might be,
In your heart.

And who can say when the day sleeps,
If the night keeps all your heart?
Night keeps all your heart...

Who can say if your love grows,
As your heart chose?
Only time...

And who can say where the road goes,
Where the day flows?
Only time...

Who knows?
Only time...

Who knows?
Only time...

Smelling Good - Feeling Good

I love perfumes, it brings out confidence and enhances charisma.
It also makes you a bit more attractive and beautiful.

I like wearing them at any time, any day and anywhere.
A spray here, sprinkle there. Smelling good has become second nature. Call me vain, but feeling good about oneself through scents ain't that bad I suppose.

I even wear one before going to bed, sometimes spray a bit on my pillow for a good night sleep.

They also say that scents are one great memory enhancer, and would you believe each perfume you see below has its own particular special memory I always recall whenever I wear them.

Though it seemed enough, but am still planning to buy a few more favorites. Mind you, I used them like crazy everyday, one different scent each day!

Monday, December 28, 2009


I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I ' ve learned.... That when you ' re in love, it shows.

I ' ve learned.... That just one person saying to me, ' You ' ve made my day! ' makes my day.

I ' ve learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I ' ve learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.

I ' ve learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I ' ve learned .... That I can always pray for someone when I don ' t have the strength to help him in some other way.

I ' ve learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I ' ve learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I ' ve learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I ' ve learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I ' ve learned..... That we should be glad God doesn ' t give us everything we ask for.

I ' ve learned.... That money doesn ' t buy class.

I ' ve learned.... That it ' s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I ' ve learned... That under everyone ' s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I ' ve learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I ' ve learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I ' ve learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I ' ve learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I ' ve learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I ' ve learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I ' ve learned ... That life is tough, but I ' m tougher.

I ' ve learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I ' ve learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I ' ve learned....That I wish I could have told my Father that I love him one more time before he passed away.

I ' ve learned .... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I ' ve learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I ' ve learned.... That when a newly born child holds your little finger in his little fist, that you ' re hooked for life.

I ' ve learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you ' re climbing it.

I ' ve learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

New Year, 2010 - Be Better

People during the 30's, 40's and 50's thought that the year 2010 is a time flying cars, life on another planet, robots and all those science fiction things and stories.

Life may not be a what they expect it to be, and we're still far from those things.
Advancement in Science and Technology is more visible now than ever before, yes it's true, but have you noticed also that the more they invent the more reason they need to?

Like the more advance medicine is, the more deadly the diseases had become?

But there are things that no matter what Science and Technology try to create will never be explained.

Our lives. How we live it, how we treasure it, how we share it, how we value it, how we love, how we care, how we touch others and how we believe in God.

Life is simple, but people most often make it hard.
God simply breathe life into us, we try to breathe out of it.
Another year is coming, and here's the question, will I be better than last year?

Better person.
Better man.
Better son.
Better brother.
Better friend.
Better colleague.

Truth is, I am not sure, but another truth is that I will try my best.

Post Christmas Blues

Christmas, spent it with "family".
Lots of food, lots of laughters and lots of warm feelings.

We tried to make it merry as we remembered out loved ones back home.
There nothing like Christmas with the family, but an "extended" family is not bad either. I am grateful for the opportunity to have an extended family here for without them, I just don't know how will I be here in Riyadh!

Christmas is family, and there is a kind of family that grows from the heart. Call it close friends, but there are feelings that goes beyond friendship, when you go out of your way to lend a helping hand, to care, to look after, to confide, to cry with, to share the ups and downs, to be there for you especially when you are down and out,I say that's no longer friendship, that's family.

I am sentimental, simple things that touches my heart and emotions moved me, and I know how to give credit to those who deserved it. So the people I found here in Saudi, those few people, special people are not my friends.

They are not even close friends. They are my family, and it's the closest I can ever get to be with my "real" family back home.

And I love them.

Benjie, who is like a brother told me one of his blues, he told me that he is saddened by the friendships he builds here, just when he thought the friendship will go beyond Saudi, does not happen. He lost good friends once they leave the country.

He is also saddened by the people he calls friends but only there on good times or when they need him.
Or can't even tell him straight in the eye their true feelings.

Sad but true.

Still, I am lucky, knowing that I had these people in my life is worth more than the Vanity Mirror I got this Christmas (don't take it negatively Ivy, I love it!)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Were The World Mine

Were the world mine (Shakespeare's A Midsummer Nights Dream), this line from the famous playright echoes in my mind. A good title for a story I say.

It is also the title of the latest gay-themed movie I saw a few days ago, in which Shakespeare's masterpiece of a play was used as a backdrop for a simple love story.

Shallow that I am, I often fall for feel-good movies, especially romantic stories. Well, this movie for me is a good movie, with all it's dancing and singing, I got hooked on my seat and didn't stood up even to take a pee. I was all smiles at many scenes and I am memorizing the lyrics of the songs.

Although the usual young gay guy, being bullied at school, had a big crush on the rugby varsity jock, had a girl bestfriend and wishes to fall in love.

His wish turned out to be just an audition away he joined the school play. A staging of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Nights Dream. The Literature teacher saw the potential and gave a book containing the lines and a recipe for a "love juice" in which the hapless guy concocted himself and voila! He makes most of his townsfolk gay by spraying them with it and make them fall in love with the same sex. Will he do it with his bigtime crush? Or will he let love takes its course?

The movie is fun and light, worth watching really. It leaves me lonely though at the end, for I felt I too deserve to be in love but it seemed love is so far away.

As Shakespeare says "O I am out of breath in this fond chase!
The more my prayer, the lesser is my grace."

Oh well.

Here's one of the scenes where the song Were The World Mine was sang.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Used and Loved

I often receive forwarded messages from friends and colleagues, mostly junk mails and sometimes something worth reading.

Here's one that caught my attention and come to think of it, so true!

Anger and Love have no limits;
choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely
life & remember this:
Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
The problem in today's world is
that people are used while things are loved.

Let's try always to keep this thought in mind:
Things are to be used,
People are to be loved.

Watch your thoughts; they become words..
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Two Weeks Before Christmas

Here in Riyadh, Christmas is celebrated similar to the olden times when Jews were once forbidden to held festivites pertaining to any Christian belief.

Anyone caught helding a feast would immediately be thrown into prison or worst executed by being live fed to the lions!

Although not that morbid, we can only get together quietly on the winter eve of Dec 24th inside hosted parties, celebrating the birth of our Lord with warm food that are a feast to one's pallate.

Being with friends who throughout the years had filled our days with everyday experiences that made living in Saudi Arabia less melancholic. Bonds renewed, friends turned to extended families, gift giving, having fun amidst a slight fear of being raided by the Moral Uphelders or Mutawas, but nevertheless once you see your friends, such fear would immediately vanish from your mind.

Two more weeks, winter is getting colder and colder day by day, and missing Christmas back home with our families were not that hard anymore.

Looking forward to another wonderful Christmas time in Saudi Arabia. I wonder where's my gift under Ivy's tree? Hmmm...

Weekend Treat

It had become a weekly lunch treat every Friday here in Riyadh with my favorite couple Ivy and Benjie.

What's so special? Aside from an afternoon of catching up on things, it was the menu for the day! Imagine yourself having these:

Crispy Fried Tilapia with Diced Tomatoes and Baby Onions in Soy Sauce, add to it Newly Cooked Rice! Winner!

How Benjie fried the Tilapia to a crisp is amazing! Ika nga, 'Sagad to the Bones!'
We Filipinos do love the simplest menu! Maybe because the experience were enhanced when we eat together with our family and friends with gusto!

Truly a treat in itself.

Yum yum!

Gold, Never Seen So Much!

There's a place here in Riyadh called Batha, a big area where all sorts of things can be bought, it's like our Divisoria, Baclaran and Quiapo combined!

But there's a small district named Dira'h where rows of stores sell gold, from earrings to bracelets, necklaces to anklets, to BELTS to HEAD DRESSES!

My friend Peter and I went there and I gasped from all the gold I saw!
I have never seen so much gold displayed without security! I joked with Peter that in our country these trinkets will never be displayed like this, these would be inside thick glasses with alarms and the large ones would be inside vaults!

Too bad I cannot take much pictures as it is "haram!" or not allowed. But I did caught some secretly. So here, enjoy all the glitter that are 18 to 25 karat gold!

Monday, November 30, 2009

Evil Temptations - Sweets

I have been avoiding sweets for the past months, being conscious of them every now and then. Although occassionally, like all temptations, I gave in. How could you resist that long? So I took it as an indulgence once in a while.

Sweets are nice, but healthwise, uh-oh! Not being a health freak, but just being healthy and wise.

How would you resist these?

Oohhhh Krispy Kreme donuts...mouth watering...

Chocolates of all sorts!

Cakes, cakes, cakes! (But our cakes back home are far MORE BETTER!)

Ohhhhh Ice Cream!

Lead me not into temptation...

Harajj - A Place For A New Lease Of Useful Life For All Things

There's a place here in Riyadh where to most of us would consider a dump, but these dumped items were given a new lease simply by selling them at a considerably low prices, a fraction of it even.

Used furnitures, used clothes, used shoes, used appliances, name it, you'll find it there. One only has to have a good eye to check whether the thing that you fancy is still really reusable or it is better to leave it there.

It's a large expanse of area and sections are made for each category. There is an area for used clothes, then an area for used carpets, a haven for second hand things.

I'll soon make another entry of the place as I still have to take pictures of some of the sections. In this entry I just want to share the things I bought from there lately that are really a bargain.

Bought these 11 pcs of Polo Shirts under SR 100.00! Imagine! When that same amount at the malls could only buy you 1 or 2 pcs! So I have an alternate outfit to wear whenever there are times that I don't feel like wearing long sleeves to work and I have all the colors to choose from! Ha! Ha!

This is the area where I found these colorful shirts, not only you need to have a keen eye to detail but you also need to have the strength to dive into those piles and piles of clothings! You may occassionaly need to haggle with a fellow Filipino who may happen to have an interest with the same item you are eyeing for!

And this pair of shoes is a winner! Orginal Emporio Armani leather shoes in very good quality at 1% of the original price! The owner of the stall was not keen in giving me the shoes to the price I am asking, but I didn't stop haggling 'til he gave in! I told myself this shoes are mine! I pretended to walk away and he called me back and sold me the lovely pair!

It is advisable to go there early in the morning starting from 6:00 AM til 10:00 AM as this is the best time to look for things. Come late and there only be "leftovers" for you!

The morning sky over Harajj, looks peaceful ain't it? With the sun's rays seeping among the clouds, bring feelings of blessedness and peace. Surely, a trip to this place is a blessing, you may come home with bags of goodies and your pocket won't even complain and that's peace of mind! Truly a mecca for bargain shoppers! More to this topic next time.

80's The Best Years of My Life

I am a child of the 80's. I am proud to belong to an era of technicolor dress codes, punks and new wave.

There are so many memories of that era that I can still vividly remember. One song that rarely played now and whenever I hear it scenes from my younger years come into my mind specifically with my cousins. This song called NEVER MIND by Colors, where we danced together. How those days gone that quick and if only I can go back and relived it. Anyway, here's the music, remember and enjoy...

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Kingdom Tower Sky Bridge VS The Globe Faisaliah Tower

Making the most of the 9-day vacation my favorite couple and some close friends and I went to the two most famous infrastructures of the modern Riyadh. The Kingdom Tower and the Faisaliah Tower.

Located at the heart of the capital, these two monumental buildings were landmarks already. Towering over the city, it is a must to exprience the thrill of going up the towers and see the whole capital of Saudi Arabia.

The Kingdom Tower

Over a hundred floors, coming up to the 99th floor where the Sky Bridge is located was already a thrill, riding two elevetors on two levels, it was a ride indeed. On coming there, one can immediately feel a sense of fear of heights! My knees shook a moment when I crossed over the Sky Bridge and hold of my breath to what I saw!

The view was SPECTACULAR, it was 9 in the evening and the lights from below houses, cars and buildings were like jewels shining on dark velvet cloth! The traffic below were like chains of gold necklaces lined together! I can't hardly contain my excitement my hands perspired.

When I looked over the glass window and saw the vast span of the lighted scenes below, I felt the GREATNESS of the moment, it was an unbelievable experience indeed. We stole some shots as cameras are not allowed (ironically cellphones with cameras were allowed)to capture the scenes and the moments.

What made it more memorable was I am up there enjoying the moment with my close friends.

The Faisaliah Tower, The Globe

Another site to behold is the view atop the Faisaliah Tower, also known as The Globe as this was also a famous restaurant that offers another AMAZING view of the city and sumptuous food (rather expensive though!). They allow visitors to come up the viewing deck for a fee. Another two elevator rides to the viewing deck, it was all worth it once we reached it, for we were greeted by another SPECTACULAR view of the city at night and a FREEZING COLD WIND, as the place is an open air area immediately below the GLOBE Restaurant. The wind blows hard and strong and without the strong glass barricades one can be blown over the edge and fall hundreds of feet below.

The view was as GREAT as the experience in the SKY BRIDGE, but what makes it more GREAT was the fact that we are at the mercy of nature as strong winds and freezing wind tries to blow us away! Haha! We had a laugh as the wind blows our hair and jackets. Going up Faisaliah Tower during winter was AWESOME!

I once asked my dear friend Ivy if this would be the same feeling we might have if we were to be on top of the Empire State Building in New York, ans she said, maybe, for it felt like were not in Riyadh anymore, with the winter clothes and the atmosphere we were like somewhere else. Maybe a premonition of great travels together I say.

It truly was another memorable experience and of course with the same close friends, what else can complete the moment?

I love these moments with my close friends, the experience was real, the laughers were heartfelt, the moment was surreal. I would rather spend a moment with real friends where I am right now.

9 Days

After all the hardwork and some duties at the stores, the company gave us a vacation, because of the Hajj we have a 4-day vacation. Before we go home last Wednesday (Nov 25th) the company announced that instead of returning to work on Tuesday (Dec 1) it will be on Saturday (Dec 5)which means we have 9 days to relax, sleep long, and make the most of it!

Yeheey!!! I love it!!!

Winter Rain

One of those rare moments in Saudi Arabia, specifically in the Shemaisy Area where I live, when it rains. I woke up yesterday to a feeling of being back home in the Philippines. Having two windows in my room, I would always know whether it was sunny or cloudy outside. But this time the sky was a bit darker than usual, it was already 10:30 AM. Then I heard wee small sounds of pitter-patter and a smell of fresh morning. I looked out my window facing the street below and the street were wet, sounds of cars on wet pavements, and the air is colder than before and it was raining.

Reminds me so much of home, I love it when it rains, not the "Ondoy" kind that is, just drizzles, and staying home. Just imagine waking up on a rainy day to the smell of cooked "sopas (tube pasta soup)", creamy, tasty and hot! Or to the taste of hot "champorado (chocolate porridge)" together with fried "tuyo (dried fish)."

Staying home the whole day in bed, just reading, watching tv or simply sound tripping.

I remembered playing with my nephews and nieces, conversing with my sibings while Mama is cooking another favorite "Nilagang Buto-Buto with Chinese Bola-Bola and Herbs!

When I was younger, I would always come out and play in the rain with my childhood friends. We would make very small boats from popsicle sticks and play race on the sidewalk canal flowing with rain water. Shower under the falling water from roof gutters, play tag or rode our bikes amidst the slippery streets and mud or catch small fishes, tadpoles and small frogs from nearby ponds!

Those were the days.

How certain moments, food and smell could trigger feelings and memories is truly nostalgic, nevertheless, it is always a blessing knowing that these things were a part of us, we never forget those wonderful feelings and memories. It keeps you grounded, it makes you smile thinking that wherever you are, home is always where the heart is.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Vision Board

I got inspired to make my own Vision Board when my dear friend Ivy showed me her masterpiece. Come to think of it, why not? A visual person that I am, I thought I needed something to see to focus myself in achieving the things and events that I would like to happen in my life.

So two weeks of internalizing and searching for pictures through magazines and the internet(I even bought a printer and thought of it as the start of fulfilling my visions, effort made, effort granted!) until finally, after much surfing, printing, scanning magazine pages, cutting, lay-outing and pasting, voila!

My vision board focused on areas like Travel, Work, Relationship, Friends and Well Being and I envisioned that in 5 years, I pray the at least more than half of it would come to pass or better yet all! God willing!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

A Date with Dates

I don't know why I haven't wrote something about this golden-colored, sweet tasting, healthy and magnificent fruit, so here goes.
When it comes to eating, I am semi-adventurous, not that I am too picky, but you know, what you did not grown up to eat, you won't eat?

Then I have this thing on eating Tinolang Manok, they say it's best when the chicken used was fresh, and I mean fresh from slicing or wringing its neck and letting the poor chicken die just like that, or putting the poor thing in boiling water still while wriggling to loosen the feathers and all. I love Tinola, but I won't eat it when it's a fresh kill!

Anyway, I had my first taste of this fruit called Date in the office the first week I started, two years ago, and since then, whenever someone offered I take and eat it.
It was heavenly, for me, it tastes like our Kamote-cue! My friends say it's a weird description of the taste for it is far from Kamote, but that's what it tastes like to me and I love Kamote-que!

Not knowing though that this Middle Eatern fruit which they love to eat since the Millenia were packed with Vitamins and Minerals including some Antioxidants. Add to it Calcium, Low Cholesterol, healthy sugar (yes, harmless to diabetics) and fat free!

The mighty small fruit also boost testosterone levels, no wonder one Arab guy I met told me that it enhances sexual performance then winked at me! Hah! - (and did he perform well? That's another story! Ha! Ha!)

My Saudi Department Manager has a farm of Date Trees, brought in the office their produce, vacuum-packed and when we opened and taste it, I got the best tasting Date ever! He said it was all natural and no preservatives. I think I had 10 in one sitting!

So, for those who haven't got into liking this fruit, well, you are missing one of natures' best creation. To those who enjoyed eating them, keep eating and I am with you.

Here's to a Date!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Another Victory For Us Filipinos

Manny Pacquaio did it again, he brought our country to the limelight once more by knocking out Cotto on the 12th round!

Amidst the calamities, crimes, terrorists, corruptions and poverty, Manny made the Filipinos proud to be simply Filipinos. The world must now be aware that they should always think twice before they mess up with us Filipinos! Hah!

And to make things even better, Manny was in the cover of TIME Magazine Asia!
I was touched from one of his interviews inside the magazine where he dedicated his victories to Filipinos all over the world, being an OFW myself, I was truly, deeply touched and I quote:

“It is a great honor for me to be the face of my people and to let everyone know we are a small but mighty country,” he said. “I have great pride for all of the Filipinos living throughout the world and it is these people that I fight for each and every time I step into the ring.”

So people around the world should watch out, for we Filipinos could really put up a fight and throw a mighty punch!

Truly made me proud to be called Juan De La Cruz.

Monday, November 9, 2009

What's Wrong With These Pictures?

It's that time again when my thoughts would wonder through the depths of my mind and wake up the slumbering notion of missing somebody.

It's that time again when suddenly I was reminded that my heart and soul is longing to be touched by another human being.

It's that time again when I long for someone to kiss, to hug and to hold at night.

It's that time again that I long to wake up with somebody still sleeping beside me and watch him dream.

It's that time again...it's that time again.

So what's wrong with these pictures?

It was not me.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Pay It Forward

I haven't seen the movie Pay It Forward, but some friends has shared with me what it's all about, doing a good deed.

In my old blogsite, a blog friend, The Vegan Prince, initiated the A Good Deed A Day action together with his mom. I also agreed to do the same but like all normal human beings swimming in the ocean of confusion, problems, distractions and what have you's, I forgot that agreement. Although in one way or another I know I do a good deed to someone or somebody, though I may not be aware of it.

Today, I will resume this agreement, doing a good deed without expecting anything in return. It is like initiating a system of goodwill, because doing good is contagious. I will do a good deed to anyone I encounter in my everyday life, in small and big ways, if I can, in anyway, in any situation, at a given moment. The only reward that I would like to get is a smile and the hope that the person will do the same to the next person he meets.

Question: Does the good deed still count if you go by “It’s the thought that counts” or the “E for Effort”?? The answer is NO, it has to come from the heart, a voluntary act of kindness that will leave you feeling light and happy.

Here’s a chance to reach out and touch someone's life.

Anyone with me?

Wednesday, October 28, 2009


I find today the many facets of being happy, it is not having all the material things in the world, it is not how well you are travelled, how good looking you are and you have lots of friends; it is not how much you have or how popular you become, no none of these I tell you.

Happiness is making someone happy. Seeing or hearing them happy is contagious, you feel the same way too. It is ironic to be sad when someone is happy, weird even!

Happiness also comes from the simplest things, like the fresh morning air, bathed in warm sunlight, the singing of the birds or the sound of a stream.

Happiness is being healthy and alive.

Happiness is having great friends, laughing together, crying together, who were always there whether you need them or not.

Happiness is knowing that you are loved and cared. When you know you are mentioned in their prayers, or when you are remembered.

Happiness is a gift, we all received, but too few have noticed. It was delivered to us from the moment we knew how to choose to live our lives, and most often we chose to look the other way.

Happiness is free, anyone can take it, but be careful cause someone might steal it, and yet, true happiness is indelible.

Happiness, I am happy today, a little extra happy.
I can sleep better tonight.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Broken Hearts Club

Last week a dear friend confide in me how he got broken hearted when his special someone found somebody new. He shared to me what had happened and my heart goes out to him. I know the feeling for I too had loved and lost a few months ago.

It is sad really, we are not meant to be alone, and having someone makes everything worthwhile, despite some disagreements every now and then, but the making up is something we can't forget.

Last night two dear friends, again, had the same episodes, one called the relationship off as his partner lied and the other had an argument over money.

What is happening? I asked myself, is this a trend, a phase, the "in" thing? I don't think so. It's just a matter of trust and honesty really. I believe all relationship should be built on that and once broken, then it is bound end.

It is hard enough to make it work, and to put a crack in it is to double the effort.
I just hope my three friends would be fine, well, I know one will definitely be, the other two, time can be their friend that can help them heal and move on.

Well, welcome to the "broken hearts club", guys, just don't leave your heart behind and everything will be fine.

Burnt Money - A Great Movie

I was downloading gay-themed movies from Torrent, taking advantage of the fast internet service I have; randomly choosing titles, reading the synopses and when I find it interesting I download the movie.
I saw a title called BURNT MONEY (Plata Quemada), in Spanish with English subtitles. After the completion I opened and scanned it for its content and story, and I got hooked. I forgot that I loaded the washing machine with my laundry, forgot the I prepared my smoothie for the evening, forgot that my housemate and his boyfriend is having a quarrel at the other room, forgot that I only have 4 hours of sleep last night and forgot the time and it was already 1 AM.

Because the movie was unbelievable, I was hooked with story of two misfits called Angel and Nene who met in a station's restroom, invited the other to stay with him and they were never separated, they were called "The Twins" eversince. Met a crimelord, became henchmen of crime and robberies, and end up, well I will not reveal much as not to spoil it.
But why I loved the movie was the portrayal of two gay men, in a real world of crime and passion. It made me wish for such a life of adventure, despite the fact they play cops and robbers with the whole city police. The bond they share was unbreakable, sweet, poignant, haunting, sometimes crazy, and yet subtle and poetic.
I am running out of words to describe the movie, and I cannot forget it. You can feel their feelings, towards each other, how they care for one another and the risks they would take to be together.

Angel and Nene is a memorable screen-couple, a paranoid and a superstition afficionado, Angel sees misfortunes everywhere he looked and seek comfort in the arms of Nene every night, until finally he turned to self abstinence the drove Nene away from him met a prostitute and when caught by Angel, Nene's words were "She was just a place to hide." and he gets to choose the person he would be with. Nene on the other hand is so attached to Angel that he cannot bear the thought of living without him.
Love really is mysterious, in its many ways of expressing it, between a man and a woman, two women, and especially two men. Love can go as deep, it's the same.
I only hope when I finally meet the right person, we could be the same, the love and bond we would be having would go as deep, and will stand all adversity for love is above all the greatest there is.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Books To Read

I bought these books for quite sometime but I haven't flipped over them yet. These Paulo Coelho books I'm sure will inspire me again like the other ones I already read.
I guess I have to start reading again so I have something to share with you guys. Anyway, aside from these I have started on my writing but I seemed to get blocked with the story line. Whenever I write, my line of thought always goes to the ending, and I keep seeing scenes in my mind, like a movie, and I get distracted.

It's like I find it more satisfying to see it as a movie than writing it as a book or short story. Haay! But am going to continue, who knows, I might get to finish it eventually.

But for now, I'll go back to the books, aside from Paulo Coehlo collection I still have others novels and what have you's that I need to finish.
I'll find the time, promise.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Dream of Me

The night goes on and you lay beside me
Sleep has not come to me
So I watched you, dreaming the night away

I believed in Angels, cause I am with one
I touched, softly, your peaceful face
My fingers slowly carressing, feeling

You smiled in your slumber, dreaming
Perhaps of me? Or some another dream.
I smiled too, cause you are with me.

You lay in my arm, and moved closer
Your breathing is warm, slow, in rhythm.
I am in awe, I sigh, I am blessed.

If only we could stay this way forever.
But then again, I am content.
You sleep, my Angel, and dream of me.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Reality Check - Happiness

Finally we had an internet connection at home and most probably I'll be updating this blog on a regular basis, bear with me please as lately I haven't been really myself.

There are so many things actually, my head is like a stew of thoughts, issues, and sometimes, I think I am going crazy.

You might not notice it, not that I put up a face in front of people, but I just don't want to get them affected or me carry it around.

But when I am alone in my room, things are pretty different. I don't know really what it is, but just to name it, I call it melancholy.

So what's the story? What's in my mind, let me then invite you for a ride inside the deepest caverns of my mind, heart and emotions. Warning, though, the road ther emight be bumpy, with not so much to see, but like what I said before, bear with me.

I am thinking what I have accomplished so far in my life? What I have achieved? What I have earned and gained? I like to do many things but where to start? Do I have the drive to make it or even start it? Where am I heading for? Am I stuck with this life?

I worry about things I do have control really. I just chose not to act on them.
I am scared of starting but not finishing. I am lonely cause I am loveless. I am lonely cause I am so far away from my family. I am scared I will not make it nor my dreams won't come true. I am, just I am, nothing.

I took a long shower today, a hot shower, for I hate cold water. I don't even drink much of cold water, I love it tap warm or hot enough to bath or drink. Well, during lathering, I noticed I am kind of in a hurry, then thought in 5 minutes I'll be done. So I changed my pace, I slowed down. I gently let the soap slide on my skin, feeling the sensation the goes with it. It felt good. I am happy.

What was that I read from my Facebook's "GOd Wants YOu To Know" subscription a few days ago? "Happiness has nothing to do with pleasure.Pleasure is always relative. Happiness is absolute. Happiness is the understanding and acceptance of life as it is in this very moment as completely perfect, because every creation of God is perfect. The degree to which you do not accept life in all of the Divine forms is the degree to which you suffer."

So that moment in the shower is perfect, I was meant to be there, to exprience it and enjoyed it. Yes it is pleasure that I felt, and it has nothing to do with happinees, correct, it is the moment, I was given the privilege to enjoy that shower.

And getting back, to think I am thinking the other way around, I thought If I satisfy myself with the things I like, I'd be happy. I thought buying myself a new outfit or a new gadget would make me happy, now realizing, it only made me crave for more, and there is always more, a new collection, a new device, a new style, the never really ends.
I would wear it and play with it, and just after an hour or so I get tire of it and on to the next.

I sat under the shower and closed my eyes, pretending I am home, in our street in Tondo where I grew up, standing in the rain, as I love bathing in the rain when I was young, and I came to realize that moment was happiness. I feel free, I feel I am young, carefree, the hot shower suddenly felt cold, I couldn't feel the heat anymore, I feel the cold rain.

Back to reality, sometimes the problem with already knowing something is the ability of our mind to cloud them with unnecessary images and visions that absolutely has one purpose only and that is to scare us or make us lose interest to what we really would like to do in our lives. So, getting back, in my heart I already know that, I am already happy if I only acknowledge it.

Whenever I am with my family and friends I am happy, after hanging out with them, spending hours and hours of laughters and talking, I go home with a smile on my face, I would wake up feeling good, the day seemed to be perfect in all ways, like nothing could go wrong.

After eating a very nice meal, I am happy, the aftertaste of good cooking the was left in my mouth makes me feel good.

Listening to music and or watching a nice movie, makes me happy.
Reading books makes me happy.
Drawing makes me happy.
Looking out my room window at the people going to and fro makes me happy.
Looking at the pigeons perching on my window sill makes me happy.
Travelling makes me happy.
Praying makes me happy.

If you notice there's not a single material thing in the list.
Only feelings and actions.

And that's my reality check, I don't need much to be happy. Pleasure is indeed relative. Take it away, and you're still you. Happiness is absolute, it is were you are right now, amidst all the things happening around you. You are meant to be exactly where you are right now, and do not doubt it. God plan is perfect, has no flaws, well thought and easy.

We just make it complicated from the choices that we make.

So getting off the shower, and going into my room, the soundtrack of The Mummy is playing, I continue to think (as I type this) that never mind that I don't have much, that the things I am thinking and bothering me are just mere, well, thinking, it may or may not happen, and the scary part were just there to, scare.

I told a friend, I am lonely too cause I am single, but he told me it's not that bad to be single, and he is right, it is not that bad after all and there is nothing to be really scared of. I also chose to wait on it and act only when it comes.

Love, I am loved. I know am loved. Cared for, yes I am also cared for.

Reality Check, I just need a carrot-apple-banana-cucumber smoothie, and I'll be fine.
Just fine.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Abha and Jeddah Get Away

It is Eid here in Saudi, something like our New Year, everyone's going on vacation, and my housemates and I were heading for Abha and Jeddah for some joyride, fun and new experiences.

I really love to travel, and it seemed to be so therapeutic to me, feeling the gush of wind on my face while riding the car, the sights that pass by, new faces, new places, exciting things to do.

It doesn't matter that the looong drive (10 hours to Abha and 7 hours to Jeddah)hurts my bottom and my back from sitting, but it will never, ever replace the experience of being in another place.

Here are some pictures:

Waiting For You - Yehonathan Gatro

Monday, September 14, 2009

The Bathtub and Me

I love soaking in bathtubs, it eases away the day's or a week load of stress. Here are some pictures of me in one, just playing around with my camera.