Warning:

This blog contains opinions, experiences, thoughts and observations of the author from his day to day living.
It is subject to comments, criticisms and corrections, and all will be dealt with constructively and do leave your comments I would love to hear from you.
There is no intention to offend, discriminate nor degrade anybody or anything for that matter, only shared feelings, emotions and angsts at the moment.
Welcome to my world.







Sunday, August 23, 2009

Housemates


Almost two years now that I have known these two guys, we all have our differences and we all have our own personal attitudes, some irritable, some funny, some we just ignore, some we talk it over.

No matter what the issue is, we talk it over and we all coexist harmoniously.
We share rent, we share food, we never question the issue when it comes to what we eat inside the house. We have this silent agreement that whatever it is that is inside the refrigerator and displayed on the kitchen shelves, we can consume. We share each other's blessings too.

No one is selfish, and we cared.

I am grateful and thankful I met these guys. Or shall I say, lucky.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Some Thoughts

Some thoughts

"Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya.."
(If you don’t love a person, don’t even show a motive for them to love you.)
"Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."
(Don’t let go of the thing that you cannot bear see others holding them.)
"Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."
(Don’t hold on to something you know you’ll let go.)
"Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."
(Don’t you ever hold on to another when you know you’re already had something holding on to.)
"Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."
(It’s just like an elevator, why would you try to squeeze yourself in if there is no more space for you. There is the stairs, you're just ignore it.)
"Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo... Dapat lumandi ka din."
(If you wait for someone to flirt with you, nothing will happen. You have to flirt also.)
"Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."
(If you love someone who doesn’t love you, let it be. For all you know on the days ahead, you won’t love that person anymore, it’s just that the person felt the same first.)
"Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."
(Leave if you’re not happy anymore. There is no cure for being a fool but by being initiative.)
"Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang."
(If the person doesn’t love you, do not complain, because there are people who loves you but you don’t love them back, so it’s just fair.)
"Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."
(If you have two loves, pick the second person, because you won’t love another when you really love the first.)
"Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."
(Not because you chat constantly, talk over the phone, accompany you or exchanged SMS messages all the time doesn’t mean you are liked or you’ll end up together. There are people who are just overfriendly, sweet, flirt or makes you hope.)
"Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima , sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka."
(Don’t hurry with a girl or a boy, Three, five or ten years later, your standard will change and you’ll be thinking it is not right to pick a partner just because they are good looking or sexy. It is true that personality is important above all. Time passes, even the person you are infatuated with will look like a piece of bread, believe me.)
"Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."
(Sometimes even if you are in schedule, you still have to wait, because you are not the priority.)
"Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya."
(It’s hard to play a role in other people’s lives, especially if you are not the hero in the script the person chooses.)
"Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."
(Do you know how far is the space between two people who turned back from each other? You need to go around the world just to come face to face with the other person again.)
“Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala”
(It is better to fail in doing something, than to succeed in doing nothing.)
“Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan”
(Not all you can understand is the truth, and not all you cannot fathom is a lie.)
"Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"
(If you love the wrong person and you get hurt, don’t blame your heart. It is only beating to supply blood in your body. Now, if you are an expert in anatomy and you’ll blame your hypothalamus that controls your emotions, you’re still wrong! Why? For goodness sakes! Don’t blame your body organs to all your burdens in life! Remember: You’ll only be truly happy if you will learn to accept that it is not your heart, brain, liver or intestines who are at fault to all that happens in your life, but YOU!)
"Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo."
(Let go of the things that hurts you even though they make you happy. Don’t wait for the day that only pain remains and happiness has left you.)
"Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sa iyo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."
(Use your heart to care for people who are close to you. Use your brain to take care of yourself.)
"Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal...nakakatakot mahulog...at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka..."
(Love is like a man hole…it is scary to fall in…and when you do, it’s either by accident or you’re just plain dumb.)

Angel Card - The Guardian Angel of Youth



My Angel Card today is The Guardian Angel of Youth, timely cause everything that is happening to me lately seemed like I am starting all over again.

There had been a series of events that when I put it all together brings me to a thinking that maybe God is telling me that it is time to put all things behind me, learned from it, the future still awaits and a new beginning is in order.

The Angel of Youth also tells that I must regain my enthusiasm in life and what it has to offer, be bold, assertive, explore and never be afraid to make mistakes.
The lesson here is to let go of old things and let new experiences come.

Surely, this renewed spirit in me will have to be recognized and put into good use.
A friend told me to write a book, maybe I'll try that.
I've been itching to paint, maybe I'll do that too.

Well, whatever I start to do, pray tell I'd finish it, anyway the Guardian Angel of Youth is there to guide me, wish me luck.



Some pictures not too long ago...

Israeli Artist - Yehonathan Gatro





Seldom we see artist who were brave enough to come out of the closet and tell the world who they really are, mostly try to hide their secret, but eventually would be the subject of tabloids and blind items that either make or break their careers.

To those brothers and sisters who were brave enough, congratulations and the real meaning of freedom is really enjoyed.

I came across this artist in Facebook by chance and I was amazed and inspired by his story. He is an Israeli (never thought that GLTB community in Israel is alive, thriving and open!) named Yehonathan Gatro.

He started his show business career pretending that he is straight, singing and acting both live and on TV. Until he decided to find himself by going to LA, and after a few years returned to his home country and made a gay-themed MTV that shocked many of his friends, acquaintances, the public and fans. Nevertheless, he came out victorious and his music career and TV Series (gay-themed also ala Queer-As- Folk) became a hit. His music is being played at discos and parties, I myself tried to download most of them (through YOU TUBE)and enjoying playing them in my room.

I like listening to it while working out, or just simply like to uplift my spirit, sometimes dancing to it, the techno-house beat would surely make one stomp his feet.
The lyrics also is so meaningful and I am sure these comes from his own personal experiences which is great.

I have a list of people I would like to meet in my lifetime and I surely will include Yehonathan in that list. I am in Riyadh Saudi Arabia, well, Israel is not that far away.

The aptly-titled “My Turn” is Yehonathan’s first, full-length English album and EP and debuts in May of this year. His video of “Just Another Summer” receives its worldwide premiere on Logo. Yehonathan is introduced to America as the cover man and featured interview in Instinct Magazine’s May issue.

Surely this man will go places as he has the determination. I, too, maybe someday will have the same achievement, maybe in another field, who knows, we gay people are determined, industrious and talented bunch.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Missing You



I miss you, so much, it hurts.
I live from day to day without you, the memory of you haunts me.
Your eyes, your voice, your face.
You embraces, your sweet kisses, you sleeping beside me.
Me, watching you just lying there, like an angel.
Breathing so gently, so peaceful.
Have you dreamt of me?
Cause I have been dreaming of you too, when I sleep.
Alone, on our bed.
Everyday.
I miss you, so much, and I am aching.
My whole body is longing, and my soul is dying.
Will I ever see you again?
I am only to hope, with all my heart and prayer.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

My Bestfriends





I miss my bestfriends, dearly. I miss our long talks that never seem to end. Specially in times like these, they always make me feel a lot better eventhough you'll hear the harshest and the truest words that hurt, and yet, like a stone that hits you in the head, brings me back to my senses and they are always there to help me start all over again.

See you soon guys.

Lie To Me


Lie, while you're even early
Deny, that you're in any hurry
Cry, and tell me not to worry
'Cause what I don't know, is never gonna hurt me

Breathe, now baby don't feel guilty
Deceive me, then just walk away
Leave me, the truth will only kill me
It's gotta be, it's gotta be this way

One more bad excuse
Before you turn me lose
Give me something to remember you by
Couldn't you offer me
A little dishonesty
Promise me you'll try
You'll lie to me

Go, your plane is not gonna stay
Slow, so I can take it in
And so you say you'll see me later
When you know you won't see me again

Please before you let go of me
Take me one more time
Appease me, tell me that you love me
That you haven't gone and change your mind

One more bad excuse
Before you turn me lose
Give me something to remember you by
Couldn't you offer me
A little dishonesty
Promise me you'll try
You'll lie to me

Lie, while you're even early
Deny, that you're in any hurry
Cry, and tell me not to worry
'Cause what I don't know, is never gonna hurt me

One more bad excuse
Before you turn me lose
Give me something to remember you by
Couldn't you offer me
A little dishonesty
Promise me you'll try
You'll lie to me

- Shane Mack (from the movie "Shelter")

To The Stranger


Passing stranger! You do not know
how longingly I look upon you,
you must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking
(it comes to me as a dream)

I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you,
all I recall'd as we flit by each other,
fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured,

you grew up with me, were a boy with me,
or a girl with me,
I ate with you and slept with you,
your body has become not yours only
nor left my body mine only,

you give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh as we pass,
you take of my beard, breast, hands in return,

I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you
when I sit alone or wake at night, alone
I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again
I am to see to it
I do not lose you.

- Walt Whitman

(to Ghassan)