This blog contains opinions, experiences, thoughts and observations of the author from his day to day living.
It is subject to comments, criticisms and corrections, and all will be dealt with constructively and do leave your comments I would love to hear from you.
There is no intention to offend, discriminate nor degrade anybody or anything for that matter, only shared feelings, emotions and angsts at the moment.
Welcome to my world.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Better Ways To Judge Others

We have been making judgments about others be it on the color of their skin, facial features, better paying jobs, manners, clothing preferences, and so on and so forth. And have made terrible judgments along the way both personally and collectively.
I came across an article that tells about a "new way" of measuring not the external but the internal nature, the very heart and soul of a person, which can start giving us a better sense of who to trust and who to follow. You with me? Let's see...
1. Judge characters in solitude, who we really are is best revealed when we are alone. What we do when nobody is looking is the truest mark of our character. Those that displays character in the dark will always reflect it in the light.
2. Contentment in circumstance, often people find it hard to be content, regardless if one is rich or poor. But rich is the person who can find contentment in either circumstance.
3. Courage during adversity, which can only be shown when it is needed. Those who have showed it and acted it out during the hard times can definitely claim it as their own. Adversities can come in many forms, but courage will always be the same, action in the face of fear.
4. Faithfulness in commitment. Those who says the truest words should be given high praises today. Whether the word is given with a handshake, a contract or a wedding ring, those who hold true to their promises are worthy of recognition.
5. Generosity in abundance. Those who received much, much should be given away, this abundance may take any form other than material things.
6. Graciousness towards others. Those who had made it a habit of extending grace to others are among my heroes. They have a realization that this world however seemed unfair, that we come from different backgrounds and no one is self-made are quick to extend grace and mercy.
7. Gratitude despite circumstance. People who see enough good in any situation and expresses gratitude are focused on the right things. If you are thankful at all times, we tend to attract the right things and eventually draw others along.
8. Honesty in deprivation. It is when we lack of something we want that honesty is the hardest. Be it something intangible or physical, dishonesty is mostly used to have or gain something. People who show honesty in the time of need reveal how they value this virtue.
9. Hope during heartache. When we get hurt, and too deep, hard to be positive and it is not enough, hope comes. Definitely it comes from somewhere far greater than us, and those who find it discovers one of the greatest powers in the universe.
10. Humility in accomplishment. He who is quick to deny himself of praise should be first to receive it.
11. Inspiration in relationship. W all have relationships, friends, lovers, even with our pets. These relationships should not be used solely for personal gain but for bringing out the best in others. And those who inspire others to become the best they can be should received more relationships.
12. Integrity in details. This can be found in details. Those who manifest integrity in the small things of life will highly show it in the bigger things as well.
13. Kindness to the weak. Usually it is the weakest among us that needs kindness, yet they receive it the least because they have nothing to repay it back. Kindness should not be shown for the sake of having something in return, it becomes an investment and loses its true meaning. The measure of kindness can be seen in how we treat those who have no means to return it.
14. Love for enemies. Anybody can love a friend, or those who treat us well, and everyone does, but it takes a special type of person to reach out and love those who treats them unjustly.
15. Optimism towards others. Let's try to see the good in everyone. There is no other way  to bring out the best in another if we have not seen it first, right?
16. Perseverance in failure. When we fail it reveals much about our heart. It shows our character, our humility and our perseverance. We will all at sometime face failures and only those who get back up and go on succeed.
17. Purity in opportunity. When character is revealed in being alone and integrity in the little details, purity is revealed in the face of opportunity. When an offer of any dishonest gain like money, drugs, power or sex comes, those who choose purity should be praised. Not only it makes one sleep better at night but make this world a better place for all of us.
18. Respect for authority. Authority makes everything in order. It brings reason and order, and it should be allowed to do so.
19. Responsibility for mistake. We all love to pass the blame, I can see it in my family, among my friends, in my workplace, especially in my workplace to government leaders. We are often slow in accepting responsibility in our mistakes. Sad. Because only those who admits their wrongdoings have the opportunity to learn from them.
20. Self control in addiction. We are too often give much attention to most things that are precious to us.  We easily fall under the influence of substances, possessions or entertainment. When that happens our lives are no longer our own. Those who retain self control in the face of addiction should be recognized as special and judged accordingly.

So, when we start to correctly regard, idolized and follow those who lead from the "inside"...am pretty sure we will make less mistakes in choosing who to follow.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Habits We Might Consider

There are times when we need to re-evaluate our lives and look forward to the future. It makes us look back at the choices that affects us in the past and gives opportunity to make some adjustments in the present, it may be too late for "resolutions", but we need adjustments to some of our habits, thought it may be "painful", but we need to get in "shape". We need to stop something or get our lives in order. Whatever we choose may relatively easy to do, or notice and are often supported by many.
However there are other, maybe worth improving that probably we often overlooked. But as the case maybe, they seemed to be just as important, even help us realize that there are some issues in our lives that leads to poor decisions or choices in the first place.
With that in mind, let's consider the following 12 habits as possible great "resolutions" to build our lives with:
1. Laugh everyday, intentionally. Laughter eases stress, lowers blood pressure and exercises muscles. It brings joy and hope. We should laugh everyday.
2. Have a solitude moment. Find some time by yourself, in peace and quiet on a regular basis. No everything, that will distract you. Just you alone with yourself. They say your life will never be the same (trust me, I know what it feels to be all by yourself most of the time. You become more creative.)
3. Say thank you all the time. Make it a habit to say thank you to someone or something everyday. It takes our attention away from what we don't have and leads us towards what we do. This may result to contentment and generosity.
4. Slow down.  Take your time. We can never outrun time. But we can be earlier so we can have time to take things slowly, enjoying each moment. Walking may lead to discovery of things around you, taking time in the shower relaxes and soothes, eating slowly makes us savor the flavors of food. Take time...no make time.
5. Try to fast once a month, we will not die if we skip a day without eating, in fact it is said that fasting "reboots" our body in order to function well. Also, if may teach us self-control, self-denial and sacrifice. It trains the mind to weather storms and temptations. It also heightens our senses. The purpose may sound like spiritual but it does not have to be.
6. "Do it Now! Instead of procrastinating about something we need to do, why not do it now. It may relieve the stress unnecessary in our lives. Just say it like a mantra, simply "do it now!"
7. Go fruits and veggies.  No need to elaborate on this. WE already know what it does and what these greens can do.
8. Read books. They contain wisdom.
9. Remove pornography. Say what?! Yes, it limits our capacity to appreciate what is real and the people in it. It shrouds the mind with unreal and unhealthy assumptions about sexuality and how we relate with others. Try to remove it and maybe life can be better, and we might appreciate more the simple joys of the people and our relationships at the moment.
10. Sleep early. We know the benefits of having a good night's sleep, right?
11. Try to give to charity. Ok, this may be kind of broad, try with the immediate people around you, you have something you have no use for? Without attachment, let go and give it away to someone who might have a better use for it.
12. Go out with your special someone. Make the relationship more fun and stronger by spending time together once in a while. Be creative, it need not be expensive.

I do try to make it a habit intentionally each of these, some I already did at some point, while others needs a bit more practice and one is still beyond my choice, lols! (no. 12). My desire is not that these list would be the secret to have a happy life, but rather simply consider each one in the hope to have a better life.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Choosing Less

A few months ago, I decided to begin living with fewer possessions.
I made the decision out of an outward emotion. I was tired of the non-stop cleaning and rearranging my things they so needed. I was tired of living with wanting and not having enough. And I am starting to get frustrated that I could not find the time and energy to do the things and be with the people I like and mattered most. I did not noticed that somehow my want to own many things was the cause of this discontentment.
Maybe I don't need more stuff!
Now I am starting to breathe a little, owning less has started to give me less time and money running after those things I used  to like to have. It had given me more opportunity to redirect my time, energy and cash to things I most value.
Another is that it provided me with even bigger opportunity to change. The external change of behavior has with it the chance for an inward change too. It has allowed me to change and adopt value that I have always liked in others.
So, take how the decision to live with fewer possessions allow hearts to embrace the following:
- Contentment, simply being mentally and emotionally satisfied with what we have as they are.  Most discontentment in our lives lies in the material things we have and how we compare them with others.
- Generosity, our willingness to give away our time, energy and something extra. When our hoarder-mentality is slowly being removed from our minds, we can be free to use our resources for other purposes.
- Gratitude, or a feeling of thankfulness or appreciation. It is important that we experience gratitude by thinking less about the things we don't have and focusing on the things we own.
- Self Control, or our abilities to stop ourselves, our feelings and impulses, reactions. Many of us go on with our lives without any clear visions of our true significance. Instead, desires are made by culture and not to mention advertisements that we see each day. The result is that we become inconsistent in our lives. No control.
- Honesty, being right in our beliefs, principles, intentions and actions, being fair and upright. We often believe in the lies and misguided truths that are being circulated in our society which is based on the need to get ahead and acquire more. Finding contentment rids the need to be dishonest.
- Appreciation, the move to estimate the qualities of things and giving them their proper significance. If we just stop looking on others and what they have that we do not, we are able to appreciate other people's successes and accomplishments, the beauty that they share to the world. We can fully appreciate others without being jealous of them, or worse wishing them fail.
Okay, one thing though, please do not misread me. I am not saying that having less necessarily breeds out contentment, generosity or even honesty. I myself is not even halfway but am working on it. There are many generous people who would not live having less, and there are also people who enjoy having less but might score high on selfishness. And I would never claim to have mastered even fully understood any of the characteristics I just mentioned, but it's worth to try. I believe in my heart that the less we have or the intention of owning less can allow an opportunity for these traits to grow in our hearts. What we do with that opportunity is our own call.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Recognizing and Celebrating Small Victories

For all the important changes we have made in our lives resulted from a long, and often difficult series of small changes.

  • stopping impulsive shopping by turning away from temptations, 
  • watching my health by starting to eat less to no rice,  
  • exercising everyday starts from the moment i wake up in the morning, 
  • attitude adjustments began when i told myself i need to start moving in my life, 
  • building relationships by taking it slowly with old and new friends, 
  • working effectively by planning my every action, 
  • learning not to be too attached to things by starting to give away or throw unnecessary clutters in my room, 
  • trying to live simply by slowly adjusting to minimal living without compromising personal enjoyments 
Living is not measured by what we have most and what we have less, as they should be measured by the little victories, smallest effort and decisions that we make every day.

Reality check, fast foods, Facebook, latest gadgets on the market, TV, and other irresistible schemes, Twitter streams and never ending media hypes, those who make it often receive the praise, while those (like me) still on the journey are often overlooked, or even worse, we long for the finish line at the expense of the little efforts that must be done to reach it. The reward at the end is hanging by a thread, and the number of steps between where we are and our goals is seldom counted accurately .

Let's start to level our way of thinking. It is but right to give praise to those who have made it, and completed a positive life change, but we must also rejoice to those who still lagging in their journey. Each small step forward is significant and worthy of celebration. And when we see it in our lives or in the lives of others, we must claim it as a victory worthy of recognition.

  • a person who starts to rise early in the morning than usual deserves celebration 
  • a spendthrift who resisted a season's sale deserves a celebration 
  • someone who cleaned his room, even wiped the dusts which is unlikely of a person to do deserves praise 
  • a person who tries to work harder than usual deserves a recognition 
  • a husband who comes home and picks up his child instead of the remote control deserves celebration 
  • a smoker who quits or even controls the number of sticks he consumes deserves a praise 
  • a person struggling with weight and chooses to take the stairs deserves a celebration 
  • and so on and so forth... 
We are human beings in need of grace and patience. We need encouragements. Let's enjoy each small victories we achieve in our lives and in other people's lives, because I believe life is only lived to the fullest through the little moments and the big. Don't you think?