This blog contains opinions, experiences, thoughts and observations of the author from his day to day living.
It is subject to comments, criticisms and corrections, and all will be dealt with constructively and do leave your comments I would love to hear from you.
There is no intention to offend, discriminate nor degrade anybody or anything for that matter, only shared feelings, emotions and angsts at the moment.
Welcome to my world.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Reel and Real Friends

When you are far away from your loved ones, the next best thing would be having friends around to keep you company. It is not easy being in another land where the first difficulty you'll be having is having problems with communication, (unless of course you're in an English speaking country, but then again when it is slang or somewhat they "eat" the words they say), anyway, so "birds of the same feather, do flock together," and we seek our kind, fellow "kabayans" in order to feel we belong, at least safe, and encouraged.
But having friends here is like playing the darts, it's a hit and miss process. You will aways never know which one is true, just being nice, kind, or only using you. You will always never know at the same time, which one you can depend on, talk to or hang around with, for they can ignore you in an instant, or simply does not want to have anything to do with you. or worst make everyone turn against you.
I am lamenting about my own experiences with the people I met these past 4 years living here in Riyadh, even lamenting is a kind word, if grieving is deeper then I am grieving. I am grieving that most of the "friends" I have here are not my "frienships."
We Filipinos are friendly in general, but we also have this inert talent to shun out whomever we dislike and we are capable of "acting" nicely in a click of a button. and I hate that. There is this reality that among the list of people I have met and described as "friends" only a handful I considered to be true.
Why I am grieving, I have a heavy heart because I think that it is important to have a support system and someone to be with in order to survive the loneliness and the hardships of being in a foreign land. Our families can only do as much with our phone calls, chat and emails, but being a physical person (I need to have a physical or personal contact with people) I am sad knowing most of my so called "friends" are not being true. I love friends, I treasure them a lot, that is why when I found out some of those I consider is fake, that a 1st-Class Louis Vuitton bag imitation is better!
How did I find it out? In reference to my post The Ones Who Never Left a couple of weeks ago, that those who stays with you even in your lowest times are "true friendships." But first it goes with the feeling and what we call instinct, our inert God-given talent to discern. I know when the person I am talking to is just bluffing and/or being honest. One thing also, you know that old lesson we always hear, that untrue persons never gives a direct eye contact when they speak to you, they cannot look at you straight in your face, either they look down, sideways or their eyes is looking in all directions and they usually cut you in the middle of the words you say, just to end it. Then they will always keep you "hanging on" and find it difficult to tell you "honestly" what they really mean and find it through other people the "real" reasons. There are those who are being too friendly and realize they just want something from you in the end, like a favor or a help, then you're ignored after. Once I do cared much to a "friend" and finding out through another that it was all taken negatively, and I hate those who are there during the happy times but leave you alone to fend for yourself. Lastly, there are friends you find only here, but once you come back home, they don't even bother to meet you.
It is true when they say that "friends are like precious stones, hard to find and too precious to loose,"  that's why I treasure the small circle I have here. Friendship is a recurring subject in my blogposts, because I really would like to put emphasis on the value of friends while living far from the family. They care the extensions of the family we love back home.
Another is that, I have learned that those people that I once ignored, where the ones that are really worth taking the time to get to know and hopefully develop real friendships. My world here may be small, but they are filled with great friends. Which ends this posts with a quote, "I have learned today that those whom I thought were nobodies are somebodies and those I knew were somebodies were the nobodies." by me.

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