This blog contains opinions, experiences, thoughts and observations of the author from his day to day living.
It is subject to comments, criticisms and corrections, and all will be dealt with constructively and do leave your comments I would love to hear from you.
There is no intention to offend, discriminate nor degrade anybody or anything for that matter, only shared feelings, emotions and angsts at the moment.
Welcome to my world.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Will Just Keep To Myself

I am trying to be normal lately, but I cannot. What do I mean by this? Work had become something that I am obligated to do and not something I like doing anymore. I told my self if I have nothing good to say or talk about, then I better shut my mouth up. You see sometimes, by being too honest with what I feel, more often say things that cause more harm than good, even if it meant to be good. What do I expect? I am Mr. Misunderstood, so I should not be bothered by it, but deep inside, I am. Maybe I have a problem?

Maybe it is really me. Would it be better if just smile and keep whatever it was in my mind to myself?

There is nothing much I can do, when there is this new rule at work which I need to follow, literally, as it was taken literally. So be it.

It is funny though, as we are not allowed to chat or talk about anything besides work, that we cannot even mention how good is the morning, how the weather is changing now, the evenings and mornings are getting cooler. Soon winter will come but hearts got colder first.

I may have made the mistake of saying or reacting to how I feel, and the result hurt me more than from which it was intented to. I am not being forgiven for being outspoken and I am also disappointed with someone I put on a pedestal. I had to ask the question, where is...oh never mind.

But I let it go, and it was water under the bridge, though I was not spoken to for the past three days, nobody seemed to want to for that matter.I just don't know how long this charade will go on, until then I will keep to myself.

Once again, I am being alienated by the last group of people I felt safe with.

My world here is getting smaller and smaller, though I try to make it bigger. It is closing in faster than I can make it wider.

I am just afraid when the time comes when I cannot breathe anymore, I will simply get up and go and leave everything behind. Good thing though, I have my photography class to keep me balanced, for now.

Yes, I will just keep to myself.

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