This blog contains opinions, experiences, thoughts and observations of the author from his day to day living.
It is subject to comments, criticisms and corrections, and all will be dealt with constructively and do leave your comments I would love to hear from you.
There is no intention to offend, discriminate nor degrade anybody or anything for that matter, only shared feelings, emotions and angsts at the moment.
Welcome to my world.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Unbecoming Of An Adult

Was talking via Facebook Video with my sister and her daughter yesterday which was great for I miss them very much. I was moping these past few days due to some issues that they "forgot" to tell me about. I was a little hurt by it and being the eldest I felt I was left out (add to that the recent incident at work, and what do I got?...never mind.) But all melted away when I watched my niece happily playing with her toys and the new tricks like clappijng her hands and doing some dance movements. Hearing her child-talk and simply looking at her mom, in such a way that she adores her. Wish I was with them with my camera. Anyway, here's the real issue,

Who do we think of when we hear the words: pouting, moping, and the silent treatment?
When I think of these words I usually think of  kids, babies, or even a teenager who hasn’t got their way. These are pretty typical responses for people who haven’t got the emotional maturity of adults.

But wait, we’re how old?

Yes, tantrums, pouting and emotional blackmail are not just for babies anymore. If we have ever been receiving an adult tantrum or pout fest then you know what I’m talking about. If it’s our child, parent, sibling, friends, co-workers who often behaves in these ways there are some things we can do to cope and not get sucked into their drama.

Let's stop taking it personally. Easier said than done, I should know. But remember as I learned that we can’t control how others act, react or deal with issues. We can only control how we react or respond to what they are doing or how they are treating us. So what I did was distance myself from what’s going on, get some air and then respond in a manner that allows me to stay true to myself. People only do what they can get away with. We should not allow someone to treat us poorly or disrespect us or they will continue to do it.  
I had this done whenever I am a little bit full of other people's drama, I simply walk away. If we are being treated poorly or disrespected don’t be afraid to walk away. It may be really difficult especially if we don’t want to rock the boat but by walking away we are sending a very clear message that we will not tolerate their behavior. It may be awkward at first but given enough time they’ll get the picture.

I read that we don’t have to be part of the problem.  If we comply with their “demands” or bend over to get them to stop pouting we are giving in to their behavior. It’s easy to say but much harder to do. No one likes to be ignored by someone they love and most of us would do anything to get them to talk to us again. But by doing that “anything” we are telling the other person that it’s okay to manipulate me to get what you want. If we’ve been putting up with someone’s adult tantrums for a while then it’s pretty obvious that we love them dearly. I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t tolerate it from a co-worker or casual acquaintance. In any event we need to stand up for ourselves if we are to put an end to this behavior.

I had my adult tantrums and nobody cared with how I felt, in my "aloneness" I realized I was just being childish. It was no big deal to start with. I was the adult with a tantrum and it didn't made me feel good or even made me feel I am a better person.
A note to those of you having adult tantrums, be they at your home or in your workplace, the tantrums are really unbecoming. Really.

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