This blog contains opinions, experiences, thoughts and observations of the author from his day to day living.
It is subject to comments, criticisms and corrections, and all will be dealt with constructively and do leave your comments I would love to hear from you.
There is no intention to offend, discriminate nor degrade anybody or anything for that matter, only shared feelings, emotions and angsts at the moment.
Welcome to my world.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Falling In Love Again...With Myself

Sounds pathetic, but I assure you it is not, I have been single for the past 5 years, and no matter how I try, it really doesn't work out. So I stopped, for a while, and turned my attention to myself. I once saw a video blog that talks about how to have someone but really the message was that it really is better not having one. A bit confusing? Let me explain why.
I was so eager to have someone to have and hold because of some fears, and one is that I am afraid to be alone. But ironically, the best way to have someone is to be ok with NOT having one.In other words, I need to be my own someone because the more I will love myself the easier for me to have that special one. Well no one is really completely that "in love" with themselves, but the closer we get to that ideal the easier it is to share that love with another person.
So if I want someone, I need to turn to myself inwards instead of looking around places and the net, and looking instead inside myself and cultivate that relationship I have with my being. So I asked myself some serious questions, "Why do I want to have someone so badly? Do I  feel incomplete when I am alone? Why? What is it that I seek with another that I myself don't have and why do I feel I don't have those things?"
The reality is I am a complete and whole person and whatever it is that I seek from another person whether, nurturing love and stability, I have all these inside myself. So I am contemplating on these things, I need to do something for myself, maybe go out on a date with myself, treat myself to a dinner, or coffee, a walk in the park, take outs, enjoy a movie, take long baths, and enjoy myself. Instead of looking at my lowtimes as something awful and terrible I should look at it as a really great gift that I could cherish. Maybe then interesting things may happen, I might become ok with being single, well in fact I might be more than OK and start to really enjoy it. Enjoying the company of myself maybe the most important relationship I could ever have in my life. The acceptance of being single breeds this tremendous air of confidence and love to people and relationships to people I meet and the relationships I make. Instead of coming across as insecure and desperate, and believe me there is nothing that's more unattractive than desperation, I might come across as someone grounded and secure in my being and that's really attractive. People might appreciate and respond to that, and when that happens that "seeking for someone"  thing will fall effortlessly into place if it's meant to be, and if it's not I'll be ok with that not happening because I would have loved and appreciated the relationship I have with myself.
Love ourselves, and as Rupaul would always say, "If you can't love yourself, how the hell you're gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen up in here?"

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