This blog contains opinions, experiences, thoughts and observations of the author from his day to day living.
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There is no intention to offend, discriminate nor degrade anybody or anything for that matter, only shared feelings, emotions and angsts at the moment.
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Sunday, December 11, 2011

Things We're Wasting Our Time On Emotionally

So there, am back with an inspiration to write something that I realized I had wasted many of my time on. Slowly I am starting to find that there really is so much more out there than just moping around and regardless of where I am right now, it doesn't stop me from being the best person I can be, as hard as I try to be. Maybe it is my nature, or maybe I am just too emotional at times. On accounting on the things I need to stop wasting my time on and just go on with what makes me happy, I have made a list about it. Before I go to that, here's the question, how much time are we wasting today on people, things or events that affect us emotionally? Drains and stressed us out?
Would you believe, it is easier to spend time on the emotionally draining than to work on emotionally-enriching activities? Want to know why? Because we were told over and over again to avoid "negative" feelings, thoughts and experiences. We are taught that negative is "bad." When in reality, avoiding the negative, is what's bad for us.

So here's the list we can't afford to waste our time on, life is short!

Watching the news for whatever we "need to know" about the world.
Watching other people’s drama play out on drama or reality TV  instead of dealing with our own drama, or allowing ourselves to admit that yes, even us have personal problems
Paying money to be “entertained” when you’re really just bored, desensitized, numb, apathetic, or too lazy to do something that’s not only enertaining, but also relevant and enriching.
Laughing off your problems instead of actually facing them.
Using sarcasm to hide how you feel
Judging your social life in terms of quantity of friends (and/or lovers) rather than quality, or intimacy
Hanging around people who don’t appreciate or respect you because you think it’s even worse to be alone
Interacting with "plastic" people instead of getting closer to real individuals you can truly connect with
Expecting other people to care about how you’re feeling without good reason
Expecting other people not to care about how you’re feeling without good reason
Trusting people too easily because you’re too afraid of getting hurt
Not trusting people enough because you’re too afraid of getting hurt
Believing anything anyone tells you without using your own discernment
Believing that spirituality is somehow more evolved than religion when it’s just a new kind of religion
Believing that anything good, spiritual, or otherwise worth sharing should be free  just because you personally don’t want to pay for it
Equating money with wealth when what you really want is time
Seeking happiness for hedonistic reasons
Seeking happiness for “spiritual” reasons
Equating happiness with the absence of ego without even understanding “what” ego “is”
Trying to kill, repress, control or put to sleep your ego which is fruitless, because you can’t get rid of your subconscious
Trying to kill your emotions when you can’t do so without harming yourself
Trying to change or control your emotions  as control is only ever an illusion
Trying to prevent yourself from experiencing any negative emotions instead of figuring out why you experience them in the first place
Trying to get rid of negative thoughts instead of focusing on how best to respond to them
Trying to stay positive at the expense of being realistic
Attempting to manage your anger instead of working with it
Refraining from taking something personally for fear of getting angry
Lying to yourself about how angered you are at someone and then being passive aggressive toward them by “being late” to an engagement or “forgetting” something important
Trying to “cool off” your anger instead of mindfully letting it
Becoming bitter and resentful  instead of getting angry
Not expressing your anger at all not even when you're all by yourself
Allowing others to use you instead of setting boundaries
Talking negatively about yourself in public or in private
Not speaking up for yourself  for fear of not appearing “nice”
Harboring self-critical beliefs without evaluating the usefulness of those beliefs
Measuring your worth by someone else’s standards instead of accepting yourself unconditionally
Striving for “perfection”  without defining “perfection”
Waiting for that “perfect” partner to sweep you off your feet  instead of spending that time and energy loving your partner for life: yourself
Waiting for permission to pursue your passions and actualize your dreams instead of giving yourself permission
Blaming yourself whenever others you know are in pain instead of maintaining healthy boundaries
Thinking that someone else holds the keys to your happiness
Viewing others’ thoughts and emotions as being more signifcant than yours or viewing your thoughts and emotions as being more important than others’
Viewing adversity as “bad” instead of an opportunity for growth
Telling someone they’re bad (for hurting you)  instead of telling them how they hurt you
Wondering if you should or shouldn’t be feeling a certain way instead of figuring out precisely why you feel a certain way
Secretly feeling jealous or envious of others instead of experiencing your jealously or envy, and then getting on with your life
Avoiding fear instead of embracing it
Avoiding how you feel  because you think that you always have to act on all of your emotions
Choosing blame instead of response ability
Blaming your actions on your gender, age, ethnicity, etc. without acknowledging your ability to make choices
Trying to forgive someone for hurting you instead of dealing with the problem so that you can protect yourself from getting hurt again
Ignoring a problem in hopes that it will go away
Ignoring a broken heart instead of tending to it
Withholding your love for fear of getting hurt (the only way to love is to risk getting hurt)
Believing that love is all you need the mere feeling is never “enough”
Regreting over the past instead of learning from it
Worrying about the future instead of preparing for it
Procrastinating instead of facing what you’re really feeling
Ignoring the “other side” of a story for fear of what you’ll learn
Trying win an argument
Emotionally investing in people who does like you and avoid you  left and right
Telling other people what they “should” think without knowing if they’re interested in what you think
Letting anyone else tell you how you should think
Trying to prove to others that you’re not “wrong” when what you need to do is convince yourself
Trying to prove to others that you’re not “wrong” when what you need to do is protect yourself
Telling yourself that you’re too old, young, this, or that for your opinion to matter or believing anyone else who says so
Unnecessarily defending yourself to people who don’t matter
Trying to gain acceptance and approval

Kind of long isn't it, but I am sure we are guilty to most of it, I am. Only when we’re convinced we’re wasting our time on any of the above we'll continue wasting it. Many times, we have to waste enough time to know that it’s a waste. Only then, we can stop wasting time because we know the results of doing so. Do we really have to learn them the hard way? I did.


  1. Hi Charlie! :) It's been a long time since my rest from the blogging world and I feel like a newbie! :) Please update my link to markxanderfabillar.blogspot.com and let me know if you want a link up as well, okay? Hope everything is well with you, man.

    Mark Xander

  2. Hi Mark, welcome back! hehehe....been busy with your acting ? ehehe...sure add me up again, tsarlymayn.blogspot.com, and i will update my link of your blog! too bad from where I am i cannot view your blog for it is blocked for some reason! anyway, nice of you to pass by! keep blogging!