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Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Do You Know If You're Ego Driven?

Our ego is one of the most self-destructive mechanisms of a person's character and his or her abilities. As a matter of fact if we look at some people who have achieved success only to lose it all in the end, is almost always because of the ego. I lost many things and relationships in my life because of my ego, who got the better of me at times, and I don't know how to start again wher I have left off before. So I just let it all pass until regrets settle in and then it's too late.
Browsing the net I came upon a site that  shared some insights about our egos. Posted by  Srinivas Rao. Srinivas who is a volunteer for the Quality of Life Project. I am sharing them this time with you, my readers and siting my own experiences with this monster.

According to Srinivas, there are 6 signs that we are ego driven ,

1.Concern with Approval of others.
When I work, or whatever I do, I am constantly on the lookout for a positive approval or appreciation from others. So I do my thing the best I could, hoping to get a good opinion from other people. In a world where people are overly concerned with looking good in front of others it is easier to get carried away basking in the knowledge that people speak highly of you. But this ego-trip is an unattractive way to be appreciated, I have learned that if I come from a place of authenticity and just plain hard work, I will be much more well liked. That I should be free of the good opinion of other people,  (although easier said than done done!), "but comes with a sense of freedom and liberation that allows you to truly shine." - Srinivas

2.Fear of asking for help.
I never wanted to bother anyone, as much as I can restrain myself. I know that there are things that we can never really do by ourselves, but I try. This results to stress, worry, and self-loathing at times for me.  It has become my habit and now recognized as another ego-trip! Like whenever I move  to another place, I try to do it all alone, I am too shy to ask for any assistance from my friends, even though I find it so difficult to do by my own. I was afraid to be turned down or  let down (based on experiences). Although I made it, but it would have been better and quicker if I had asked for help. Yes, it was my ego telling me that "prove to them you don't need their help!"

3.Comparing and Competing
When driven by my ego, I would often compare myself to others and compete for the no. 1 spot. As Srinivas said, "Comparing yourself to others is the ego in one of its most vicious forms."  But it is a competition that I never won. Someone would alwas be better than me, and it made me feel dissatisfied.

4.The constant need for more
This is something I have made myself learn the hard way. I used to buy things that I really have no use of after the first excitement. I already shipped boxes of shoes, clothes and knick knacks back home which are just gathering dusts and taking so much space in my already small room. My ego entices me with thoughts of being "in" because I have this or that, but even then there will come a point when I may have everything, and getting more just for the sake of having it is too much, so this ego trip I already stopped, it's hard, but I have to stop before it turns into greed.

5.Lack of presence
I worry about my future, and always burdened by my past. I would often forget to live in the present, no matter how I gorge myself with wisdow from Eckhart Tolle about living moment to moment at the present.
But how do we really live in the present? How do we know if we are really present? Simply by letting go of all worries from the things we already did and for the things that still may or may not happen.
6.The need to always be right
Well, this is an ego-trip that is not my trip! Am glad to be free at least one of the six signs. I never really raise issues or feel the need to be always right. In fact I admit mistakes I make whenever I can. Although there are times when I sulk in it for a while before really admitting the wrong. So in turn, the ego trip is in the part where I would try to let it slide. Hoping that it will vanish into nothingness or pretend nothing ever occured. I am not the aggressive type nor a really persistent person, maybe that's why I never got far but am fine. I never have much complaints. Really.
Srinivas said. "These kinds of people will often get far in life because of their persistence and aggressiveness. But, these are also the people that will fail when they are on the brink of MASSIVE success."
I  am content with my small successes which I can handle and these in return gives me simple inner joys
"When you can learn to let go of the ego, the level of success and fulfillment you will achieve will be dramatic. Only with your ego in check will you have the ability to reach your full potential." - Srinivas

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