That I Would Be Good

There will always be songs that when you hear will move you, that will touch the inner part of you and send your emotions into a roller coaster ride. Most of these songs would define who you really are or how you are feeling at the moment. I call it sometimes as an answer to a whispered prayer. An immediate booster to a lowly heart, a comfort to a lonely soul.
I viewed a friend's profile in Facebook because to greet him as it was his birthday, and he had this short video of pictures of himself all these years and in the background was a song playing, the picture show and the song go together perfectly that it tugs my heartrings and made me teary eyed. It was sang by a great artist of the 90's Alanis Morrisette, who never fails to awe her fans with her "real life" songs, songs that comes from everyday experience and deep emotions, which made it more endearing. It was called "That I Would Be Good" and the moment I hear the words, it made me look back also into my life, where I had been and what I have become. Good thing I have a copy of the song in my IPod and I set it to play over and over as every time it makes me want to cry.
...That I would be good
Even if I did nothing
That I would be good
Even if I got a thumbs-down
That I would be good
If I got and stayed sick
That I would be good
Even if I gained ten pounds...
My life is full of let downs, disappointments and heartaches, from the people I care about to the people I meet each day. From my workplace, to the streets, even in my home. I struggle to find that happiness, for the feeling of being alright.
And I do, I only need to let go and look forward to a new start. Everyday is a new opportunity to become happy, to be ok, to be fine, to be good and I do try.
No matter what happens as long as I am strong at heart, I would be good, like the song goes, even when I feel like I am alone, I will be alright.
...That I would be loved
Even when I numb myself
That I would be good
Even when I'm overwhelmed
That I would be loved
Even when I was fuming
That I would be good
Even if I was clingy...
I feel that I am loved, even when sometimes I think I am not. There will always be somebody who cares. Even the baddest person is loved, even the most hated is loved. There will always be someone who looks up to you and in their eyes, a hero.
...That I would be good
Even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
Whether with or without you...
And when at times when I am alone, I could still be good, cause the most important thing is that I can always stand up every time I fall down. I have the power and wisdom to pull myself together, pick up the pieces and rebuild my life again; that loving myself is the best thing I can do to me, as Rupaul would always say "If you can't love yourself, how the hell you're gonna love somebody else?" Can I get an amen up in here?