That I Would Be Good

There will always be songs that when you hear will move you, that will touch the inner part of you and send your emotions into a roller coaster ride. Most of these songs would define who you really are or how you are feeling at the moment. I call it sometimes as an answer to a whispered prayer. An immediate booster to a lowly heart, a comfort to a lonely soul.
I viewed a friend's profile in Facebook because to greet him as it was his birthday, and he had this short video of pictures of himself all these years and in the background was a song playing, the picture show and the song go together perfectly that it tugs my heartrings and made me teary eyed. It was sang by a great artist of the 90's Alanis Morrisette, who never fails to awe her fans with her "real life" songs, songs that comes from everyday experience and deep emotions, which made it more endearing. It was called "That I Would Be Good" and the moment I hear the words, it made me look back also into my life, where I had been and what I have become. Good thing I have a copy of the song in my IPod and I set it to play over and over as every time it makes me want to cry.
...That I would be good
Even if I did nothing
That I would be good
Even if I got a thumbs-down
That I would be good
If I got and stayed sick
That I would be good
Even if I gained ten pounds...
My life is full of let downs, disappointments and heartaches, from the people I care about to the people I meet each day. From my workplace, to the streets, even in my home. I struggle to find that happiness, for the feeling of being alright.
And I do, I only need to let go and look forward to a new start. Everyday is a new opportunity to become happy, to be ok, to be fine, to be good and I do try.
No matter what happens as long as I am strong at heart, I would be good, like the song goes, even when I feel like I am alone, I will be alright.
...That I would be loved
Even when I numb myself
That I would be good
Even when I'm overwhelmed
That I would be loved
Even when I was fuming
That I would be good
Even if I was clingy...
I feel that I am loved, even when sometimes I think I am not. There will always be somebody who cares. Even the baddest person is loved, even the most hated is loved. There will always be someone who looks up to you and in their eyes, a hero.
...That I would be good
Even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
Whether with or without you...
And when at times when I am alone, I could still be good, cause the most important thing is that I can always stand up every time I fall down. I have the power and wisdom to pull myself together, pick up the pieces and rebuild my life again; that loving myself is the best thing I can do to me, as Rupaul would always say "If you can't love yourself, how the hell you're gonna love somebody else?" Can I get an amen up in here?

50 Books Challenge - For A Year

I got this idea from a website of bibliophiles and told myself why not? Although these guys were pretty serious about their hobbies and took up 100 books, I would like to start a bit small, like half of it.

So starting this month until the next in 2011, I will challenge myself to read 50 books, regardless of topic (as long as they are in interesting and good read) and we'll see.

I am already in one and got a few, new more in my keeping.

One of the best hobby to do really is reading for a lot of reasons, actually, for me one is that it makes us look beyond ourselves, we get to see sometimes our character and personalities right in front of us looking back in a way we never see before, and these characteristics can do things we've never done and knowing that we may can is very inspiring. Reading broadens one's horizons in looking at things in a different way. Sometimes the use of imagination sparks a hidden desire or a certain act which compelled us to be better than what we are now or something that we have been keeping and cannot express. Books even let us know how other people think and dream about as you can see this in their writing. It inspires to a never ending degree.

And much more, much, much more. My father loves to read, a lot, he loves espionage, war, action and all those that has to do with conspiracies within the military and the government. A policeman that he was, what else should I expect? I remember he bought me this series of books called A WONDERFUL WORLD OF DISNEY when I was young, it's an encyclopedia incorporated with Disney characters which is a fun read. That's where I started my fascination with books. I can't recall much all the books I read all these years, but I would know given some "memory shaking" , oh well, and that is why also my heart broke when a fire incident burned most of my book collections a few months ago. Each book in my collection speaks of a certain moment which reminds me of people, an act, a time, even a memory like how perfumes and scents sometimes trigger experiences. Thus am starting a new collection now.

Nevertheless, I am taking up this challenge in the hope that others would be inspired to read and find it very satisfying and interesting. So would you join me?

Smelling Good - Feeling Good

I love perfumes, it brings out confidence and enhances charisma.
It also makes you a bit more attractive and beautiful.

I like wearing them at any time, any day and anywhere.
A spray here, sprinkle there. Smelling good has become second nature. Call me vain, but feeling good about oneself through scents ain't that bad I suppose.

I even wear one before going to bed, sometimes spray a bit on my pillow for a good night sleep.

They also say that scents are one great memory enhancer, and would you believe each perfume you see below has its own particular special memory I always recall whenever I wear them.

Though it seemed enough, but am still planning to buy a few more favorites. Mind you, I used them like crazy everyday, one different scent each day!