Reel and Real Friends

When you are far away from your loved ones, the next best thing would be having friends around to keep you company. It is not easy being in another land where the first difficulty you'll be having is having problems with communication, (unless of course you're in an English speaking country, but then again when it is slang or somewhat they "eat" the words they say), anyway, so "birds of the same feather, do flock together," and we seek our kind, fellow "kabayans" in order to feel we belong, at least safe, and encouraged.
But having friends here is like playing the darts, it's a hit and miss process. You will aways never know which one is true, just being nice, kind, or only using you. You will always never know at the same time, which one you can depend on, talk to or hang around with, for they can ignore you in an instant, or simply does not want to have anything to do with you. or worst make everyone turn against you.
I am lamenting about my own experiences with the people I met these past 4 years living here in Riyadh, even lamenting is a kind word, if grieving is deeper then I am grieving. I am grieving that most of the "friends" I have here are not my "frienships."
We Filipinos are friendly in general, but we also have this inert talent to shun out whomever we dislike and we are capable of "acting" nicely in a click of a button. and I hate that. There is this reality that among the list of people I have met and described as "friends" only a handful I considered to be true.
Why I am grieving, I have a heavy heart because I think that it is important to have a support system and someone to be with in order to survive the loneliness and the hardships of being in a foreign land. Our families can only do as much with our phone calls, chat and emails, but being a physical person (I need to have a physical or personal contact with people) I am sad knowing most of my so called "friends" are not being true. I love friends, I treasure them a lot, that is why when I found out some of those I consider is fake, that a 1st-Class Louis Vuitton bag imitation is better!
How did I find it out? In reference to my post The Ones Who Never Left a couple of weeks ago, that those who stays with you even in your lowest times are "true friendships." But first it goes with the feeling and what we call instinct, our inert God-given talent to discern. I know when the person I am talking to is just bluffing and/or being honest. One thing also, you know that old lesson we always hear, that untrue persons never gives a direct eye contact when they speak to you, they cannot look at you straight in your face, either they look down, sideways or their eyes is looking in all directions and they usually cut you in the middle of the words you say, just to end it. Then they will always keep you "hanging on" and find it difficult to tell you "honestly" what they really mean and find it through other people the "real" reasons. There are those who are being too friendly and realize they just want something from you in the end, like a favor or a help, then you're ignored after. Once I do cared much to a "friend" and finding out through another that it was all taken negatively, and I hate those who are there during the happy times but leave you alone to fend for yourself. Lastly, there are friends you find only here, but once you come back home, they don't even bother to meet you.
It is true when they say that "friends are like precious stones, hard to find and too precious to loose,"  that's why I treasure the small circle I have here. Friendship is a recurring subject in my blogposts, because I really would like to put emphasis on the value of friends while living far from the family. They care the extensions of the family we love back home.
Another is that, I have learned that those people that I once ignored, where the ones that are really worth taking the time to get to know and hopefully develop real friendships. My world here may be small, but they are filled with great friends. Which ends this posts with a quote, "I have learned today that those whom I thought were nobodies are somebodies and those I knew were somebodies were the nobodies." by me.

The Ones Who Never Left

It already sounds like a cliche to once again define what friends are. Who are they and what are their roles in one's life.
Too many definitions and descriptions people already laid out when asked what is a friend, and if we gather all those definitions, maybe a few volumes could be published just defining a friend. I guess it's to each his own when it comes to friendship. It would always depend on who and what kind of experiences you have with certain people that will constitute your own personal definition of what are friends.
But if you're going to ask me, I got my own definition which I recently made up, and probably will be my only one, simply, "they are the those people who never left," I didn't mean literally, but those special human beings who were with you through your ups and downs, through your worst and best times, they may be far or near, but you always feel them around you. They stayed with you no matter who you are or what you may have become and will be afterwards. They simply love and accept you even when others may have judged you, because they understand you.
Too many people come and go in our lives, our journey is filled with people who may just be passing by; passing and sitting by; passing, sitting and waiting by; passing, sitting, waiting and staying by , and those who will stay are the friends who'll be there for you.
I have hundred of friends, but only a handful of friendships, and I would rather have friendships than friends, the ones who will never leave.

Michael Buble` - Home

It is the season to be jolly, but I cannot truly feel the atmosphere of love and joy when I am so far from my family, my home, this Christmas time.

The sacrifice an OFW had to make just to give their loved-ones the life they deserve. I will be missing Christmas again this year with my family and friends, nevertheless, they'll always be with me, in my heart.

This song, aptly named HOME sang by a great singer Michael Buble, most probably sums up all the OFWs feel and those who are far away from home this Christmas. I know I did.

Home

In less than two weeks I'd be coming home. I can't wait to see the smile on my mother's face when we see each other again. I miss her and her cooking. I think I am going to spend more time with her this time.

Not to mention I would be hearing my nieces' and nephews' laughters again. They're bigger now, but they will always be my little angels.

There'd be non-stop sibling chit-chats again, talking the night away with my brothers and sister, sharing stories, laughters and some heart to heart talks.

Time to relax, to rejuvenate, to smell the roses as they say.

I promised myself to spend more time with my family this vacation. I miss them so much.

On the other side, I'd be seeing also my bestfriends. I miss them too. Friends that had been there through my ups and downs. Some time with them would be fun.

I'd be seeing my sister in Singapore, yes, I would be having a sidetrip in Singapore! Whoopeee! It would be my first time there, so my adventurous side would be up and running again, I'd be exploring each nook and cranny of Singapore and that would be very, very nice.

Then before I come back, if plans would push through, I'd be meeting a friend in Hongkong, one of my favorite places to visit. I miss Hongkong too, been there a couple of times, and I just love it there.

But not to forget, I'd be there during the Lenten Season, and I could be doing a Visita Iglesia hopefully, if time still permits. Otherwise, just a quiet time with the family would be good.

A month isn't that long, but I'll make the most of it. After all, it's not what I bring home that matters, but just being with the people I love and care about is worth more than the Balikbayan Box I'd be carrying home, or is it? hmmmmmmm....

Dostana

Here I am writing again about friendships.
How many people do we meet and call friends? I am not sure anymore. I used to measure friendships with the degree of togetherness and the times they're there when you are down, and share your joys and pains. But that became a question because of an incident.

Nonetheless, I come to terms with the issue and slowly letting it go.
Saw this movie Dostana, a Bollywood Movie set in Miami, Florida. Dostana is an Indie word that mean a Friend. A very light story of three friends, two guys, Kunal, a fashion photographer and Sameer, a Nurse and a gal, Neha who is an aspiring magazine editor. Both men are in love with the girl but cannot tell her as they pretended to be a gay couple in order to get to live in a great looking apartment with the girl.


Jealousy among each of the men makes them do things just to get the girl's attention but eventually loses to another guy, the girl's boss in a very prestigious magazine publication.

They joined together in order to drive the would be suitor away and succeeded but all backfired and loses the girl. In order to forgive the two, Neha's boss/boyfriend together with her dared them to kiss in front of a crowd. They begged off as they are not really gay, and as Neha turned away the crowd roared in shouts and claps, Kumal and Sam were kissing on the stage. Neha then run towards them and they all group-hugged and all became well again as their Dostana is far deeper than anything else andthey are bestfriends. Arm in arm they took Neha to the boyfriend and handed her over as she was an orphan, kneeled and asked the boss to marry her.


I laughed, got teary-eyed, enjoyed the music and felt good afterwards. It was one of the best films I had ever saw at almost 2 hours! The movie included some MTV like dance scenes which are also a delight to the ears and the eyes.

Which brings me back to the main topic, up to what extent can a friend go just to ask forgiveness to another friend? These guys swallowed their pride, kissed, kneeled and cried just to gain their friend's trust again. Why? Because they LOVE each other.

I think there should be love between friends, not just "be friends" and share laughters, fun times, sad times, jokes, and what have you. I think I am going to look for a friend who will love me and not just be friends with me. Sounds far-fetched and you might wish me "goodluck!" Nevertheless, there's no harm in trying, right? I'll start with me, instead of saying I like my friends, I will start to say I love my friends and then go from there.