Feeling Like A Nobody

It’s easy to get discouraged and feel like a nobody. Maybe doing something drastic or praise-worthy, change of group or circle of friends is the answer. I look forward to the day when my  name is called and people finally see and hear me.

However, being known doesn’t change the problem of being a nobody. It just changes the location. Now instead of being an unknown in my old group, I am unknown in a bigger crowd.

The fact is, even famous people get lost in the crowd. It’s a tough reality, especially when I feel like alienatedor worst maybe not needed anymore. Over the past weeks, I’ve had my share of concerns that I am just another person in the crowd, a passing friend, even thinking everything I do to another person even in the "goodest" of intentions are almost always misconstrude.

Now that I start to feel like a nobody, I think I need to give myself a mini-pep talk, which includes these four points in one form or another:

1. Lower my expectations.

I am a little naive, and I am too trusting at times that I got run over. Honestly I don't mind cause I put people on a pedestal, especially those I get to care about and loved. Problem is, the moment they slip up, I tend to lose heart and I find it hard to held them in high regards again. So I tend to keep distant which is mistaken that I didn't care, but what I am trying to do is just keeping distance in order to see them in another perspective and make clear to me why I put them in such a high importance in my life. Sometimes I see why, and sometimes I don't. But I was already given the cold shoulder treatment by the time I find out.

2. I speak my mind too often

I am not sure whether it is right or wrong to speak one's mind outloud, and say the right words at the wrong time, or the wrong words at the right time. I forget that people can be sensitive at times and I get to be insensitive, and people can be insenstive and I am just plain stupid.

3. Misunderstood

Frankly speaking, I would rather not talk nor act on something or anything, 'cause  I am always misunderstood. But even if I chose not to move or say anything, still it is understood that I, yes, didn't care at all.

4. I care too much and get too close for comfort

I learned the hard way that getting too close to anyone is not a good thing, there should always be a space in between or what do we get? You guess it right, when two bodies are too close , as my physics teacher told me, it creates friction. Oh well, so much for being a close friend, I got too comfortable thinking that everything I do or say will just be taken on a stride. I was dead wrong.

So being a nobody because of these points really sucks, but nevertheless opens my mind and eyes to the degree of relationship I have with the people I came to know. So what now? I am not sure at all, really, I am too far to the people in which I am not a nobody and I have to live with this feeling for now.

The 5 Essentials Of Happiness

It has been written before, told and spoken the things we need to do just to be happy. We all know that most the things that makes us happy are not tangible, and the best in life cannot be bought, but rather free.
But somehow the reasons that made some people happy nowadays, or so they thought are more or less seen displayed at their favorite stores. Most people think that happiness is a state of mind brought about by things or circumstances that are outside their well-being. Still, there are those who find the simplest joys in everything that surrounds them 'cause in reality, true happiness comes from within. We cannot feel happiness outside ourselves until we are happy on the inside, bottom line, it is a decision we have to make. I came across this article about a so-called 5 essentials of happiness, and as follows:

• We must be true to what we say. It is said that being truthful in what we say to others is one major factor in having a happy and healthy disposition, and what is even more important is what we say about ourselves. Lack of self-encouragement hasa huge negative effect on who we are, what we stand for and the amount of happiness that surrounds us. Take this, is it really true that we are not smart enough or we just need to learn a new skill? See the difference, and we can change this self-talk to a positive, loving and happy way.
• Whatever happens let us not take offense. It is said that "which offends you only weakens you" and if we are always looking for situations to be offended, chances are we'll find them at every corner. Like it is our own choice to get offended when our opinions and decisions are different than ours. We are not offended not there was any intention, we choose to be. The essential thing is to take no offense with the actions of others, simply let it go, good or bad.
• Never expect anything. One way to bring unhappiness is to live with expectations. Whenever we expect something and it was not the way we wanted it to be, we get disappointed, we let our happiness ride on the result of what it supposed to bring. We have no control over the outcome of every event and action that happen around us, but when we expect nothing and just accept whatever it was, happiness comes because we are not let down.
• Serving others. Mother Theresa sets the example and says "It is not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving."  Sharing and giving opens the heart and lets happiness come in freely. To serve others without, yes, expectations of any returns.
• In everything we do, we must always do our best. We always have to put our best foot forward, it feels good doing our utmost just to finish something, or reach our goals. There may be hards days at times but we must not falter at the slightest difficulty.

My good friend Benjie introduced me to Og Mandino, that great motivational speaker and author sums up the essential to happiness "Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace, contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having, or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself."