There may be some subtle changes in my line of thought these days, you may notice that I've been dealing mostly with my innermost feelings and my spiritual well-being.
I am still me, the same person you knew before, it's just that I have been laying low on my escapades (not the I totally gave it up, and that's another struggle to overcome, you know what I mean, guys!)
I decided to reconnect with my Soul and Spirit. Don't ask me why, as I don't know even. It's just a feeling, something inside of me is trying to break free.
Free from what? Maybe from the bondage of lust? The bondage of continually falling deep into the darkest caverns of myself.
I feel like I am a lost boy, a prodigal son, hoping and wanting to come home.
There is something missing in my life, that I am trying hard to fill up.
A lovelife? Maybe, for I've been single for the longest time, yes, maybe Love.
In this country where to each his own really, a simple act of love is like a drop of water in the middle of an arid desert. An act of kindness is like an oasis. Someone who cares and to care for is like a mirage that really isn't there.
But miracle of miracles, I did find love here in Saudi Arabia, not a boyfriend but they are in the form of friends and they know who they are.When I thought I was all alone, they are there for me, like guardian angels. I feel loved and cared for, like family and that's enough.
Thank God.
Until that special person, maybe, comes and lead me to a deeper level of love and understanding.
Peace of mind? That is what I am actually trying to pursue.
I decided to count my blessing no matter how great and small.
I accept all the bad things that happen, for there is always a reason for everything.
I made my before-sleeping-time everynight my prayer moment. I pray the Rosary.
I thank God each morning when I wake up and try my best to do good towards another.
And mostly be content with what I have and what I can afford.
I hope you guys bear with me and join me in my journey. I may stumble every now and then, but I guess that's all part of it. I may share something exciting like when I backslide, but nevertheless, I will try to get up and start again.
God is merciful and forgiving.
Hay naku pareho tayo ng drama when I was new here. One thing that I'm thankful of Saudi is that we get to know our inner self better dahil na rin sa pagkakaroon natin ng time for self-examination (especially of our emotions).
ReplyDeleteOne day you will find what you're searching for.
Basta lang make sure that you rise in each stumble. And you still keep your faith no matter what.
MAGANDANG reflection yan for holy week. Me glad u have a support group dyan sa place u. Our lyf is an unending journey until it rest with You, my LOrD! :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks guys, I really don't know what's gotten into me, but after an "episode" here that still I am msutering to write to tell the whole world about it, I feel like reviving my near-dead spirituality.
ReplyDeleteWho knows really ,there might be something good that would come out of it.