Examination of Conscience

To say that we all need forgiveness is to accept that we are all human, we forget we make mistakes, we are thoughtless, and we hurt others. And yet, God loves us even in our very weakness, and wants all of us to be reconciled to Himself and to one another. Let us now beg our merciful God for the Spirit of light that we may see our sins and sinful tendencies for the grace to name and claim them. And for the courage to feel shame and sorrow for them.

1. Blessed are the Poor in Spirit

Forgive us, Lord:
• for the times when we compared ourselves to others and thought ourselves better than them;
• for the times when we were stubborn, proud and judgmental;
• for the times we were overly-critical or full of excuses;
• for the times we hid our talents and abilities;
• for the times we failed to respond generously.
Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive one another.

2. Blessed are the Gentle

Forgive us, Lord:
• for the times our anger got the better of us and we refused to listen.
• for our violence, our recklessness and roughness, our disregard for other people's feelings.
• for our impatience with you, with others, with ourselves.
Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive one another.

3. Blessed are those who mourn

Forgive us, Lord:
• for being afraid to be vulnerable, failing to risk loving because we are afraid.
• for the many devious ways we avoid loneliness and all the pains of simply being human, forgetting that you were human and knew what it is like to suffer, too.
Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive one another.

4. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness

Forgive us, Lord:
• for being self-centered, for our lack of concern for others.
• for our indifference and passivity in the face of all the poor, the oppressed, the suffering, the abused, who are our marginalized brothers and sisters.
• for the small and big ways we participate in the injustice and oppression of the world.
Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive one another.

5. Blessed are the merciful

Forgive us, Lord,
• for our unkindness, for our lack of generosity to you, with others, and with ourselves.
• for our deriving pleasure at the misfortunes of others
• when we are insensitive and when we are too sensitive
Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive one another.

6. Blessed are the pure in heart

Forgive us, Lord
• for our lack of simplicity; for wanting more than we need
• for our lack of self-discipline, for our mistrust and cynicism, for our lack of honesty, even with ourselves
• for our envy and our jealousy that lead us to destroy our relationship.
Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive one another.

7. Blessed are the peacemakers

Forgive us, Lord:
• when we choose to hold on to our grudges, or get even, instead of choosing to love and forgive.
• for our gossiping, for our quarrels and wrangling, for all our anxiety.
Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive one another.

8. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake

Forgive us, Lord:
• for our failure to do what is right, because it is unpopular.
• for our non-committal silence when we needed to take a stand
• for our easy tolerance for the ways of the world, because we are afraid to be left out, afraid of not belonging.
Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive one another.

Prayer:
As we remember and look at all these our sins and sinful tendencies, look kindly upon us, O Lord, and have mercy. Remember us you wayward children, Lord. We long to come home to you. Bless us with the healing calm of your forgiveness, through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Our Father ...

Recited during Bro. Nono Alfonso, S.J.'s talk at MTQ Parish on Holy Thursday, March 20, 2008.

Why Is It and If This Isn't Love?

Why is it that when you're in love every song you listen to seemed to mean everything you feel?

The first time I heard Jennifer Hudson's If This Isn't Love, I was strucked like lighting and totally fell in love with the song.The song just described what I am feeling and I can't help but just wallow in this overwhelming experience I am having.

We all know that there is no greater thing in this world than love. To fall in love, to be in love, to be hurt by love and healed by love again.

Even Nat King Cole sang "The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love and be love in return."

You might say, okay, alright, we all know about it, and just to remind you, don't pour out your heart too much or you might find yourself having one big heart break!

And I would say, of course I know and I understand what you are saying and thank you very much! But let me just have this moment of bliss and just let me be happy even for a while.

If ever this is just a passing thing, who cares? I would still be thankful and happy and won't be regretting any of this. If this isn't love, then tell me what it is?

So, sing away Ms. Hudson and let us once again feel how lucky those people to feel this way!

God sent me an angel from above
That's gonna love me for life
Might as well be perfect only because
It's the only way I can describe, so
If this isn't love, tell me what it is
'Cause I could be dreaming or just plain crazy
If this isn't love, tell me what it is
'Cause I never felt like this baby
If this isn't love
L O V E, what is in me?
L O V E, oh, if this isn't love
L O V E, what is in me?
L O V E, oh, if this isn't love

- If This Isn't Love by Jennifer Hudson

In My Absence

"Ayan, ayan! May career kasi kaya absent sa Blog!"

It's been quite awhile, my friends since I last made an entry.
It's not intentional, it's just that I have been busy. Very busy indeed juggling between my work and my ..ehem...a blooming lovelife.

Yes, you read it right, a lovelife.

I met a man, in the least unexpected way. It's like it was meant to happen.

He is Syrian, and like all Middle Eastern men, he is as gorgeous as they come.
A little smaller than me, his voice has this sweet sound in it, angelic smile, cool personality.

I passed by him sitting on the stairs in the place I work as he is trying to have his papers approved for vacation.

The moment I saw him, I cannot forget him, so I tried to find reasons to come up and down the stairs and everytime I passed by him he sort of smile at me. He was with his friend who has the same problem as him.

To open an conversation, I made a compliment at the sandals he was wearing for in fairness it was nice, and his feet, oh, one of my weaknesses were clean, white feet!

He said thanks and I went up to my office, and when I can't resist again to catch a glimpse of him, he was gone, so my poor heart panicked and tried to look for him and found him outside the building smoking with his friend. He saw me, cause I saw him smile. I told myself, this was it, and I have to know his name. His friend separated a bit from him and I took the chance to say hi and asked him if his papers were done, he said no but it will be soon, so I reached for my wallet and took a business card and hand it to him. I told him to call me for whatever reason that might be. He said thanks and off they go. I forgot to ask for his name.

It took two days before he called, like all no-name calls I was hesitant to answer my mobile first, but after the fifth ring, I did and your guess is as good as mine. This time I asked for his name and saved it in my mobile.

We went for a date, yeah, date! Eat out and talked, talked and talked and found out interesting things about him, slowly I am becoming at ease with him and soon, I already liked him. He said the same thing, that when he saw me he kept hoping for me to come up and down the stairs too! He was just too modest to open up a conversation and a little shy because he was with his friend.

That date was followed up by calls and another date, and his birthday came up, and I invited him home prepared macaroni-spaghetti, baked a cake, made ceasar salad and bought him a gift. He was so happy he told me and spend the whole day and night together, it was a weekend, thank God! We sweet-danced to Mariah's My All (which is his favorite)as he pressed his head against my pounding chest. It was one of the best moments of my life.

I also found out he was gay, and that completed everything.

He said he liked me and told me he love me. I told him to tell me he love me again when he is sure of himself.

My head is reeling and I like this feeling, it's been a long long time since I last felt this way and praying that someone would come and make a great change in my life again.

Where it will lead the two of us, well, God only knows. Right now, he left for Syria to visit his parents and siblings for 10 days. He promised he'll be back, I told him I will keep that promise and believe. We'll see.

Finally It Has Happen To Me!

Finally - Ce Ce Peniston

Meeting Mister Ri-ight, the man of my dreams
The one who showed me true lo-o-ove or at least it seems
With brown coco ski-in and curly black hair-air-air
It's just the way he looks at me, that gentle lovin' stare
Finally-y you come alo-o-ong
The way I feel about ya it just can't be wro-ong
If you only knew-ew the way I feel about you-ou
I just can't describe i-it, oh-no-no

Finally it has happened to me, Right in front of my face
My feelin's can't descri-ibe it, Finally it has happened to me
Right in front of my face, And I just cannot hi-ide it
Finally it has happened to me, Right in front of my face
My feelin's can't descri-ibe it, Finally it has happened to me
Right in front of my face, And I just cannot hi-ide it

It seems so many times he seemed to be the one
But all he ever wanted was to have a little fun
But now you come alo-ong and brightened up my wor-or-orld
In my heart I feel it I'm that special kind of girl
Finally-y you come alo-o-ong
The way I feel about ya it just can't be wro-ong
If you only knew-ew the way I feel about you-ou
I just can't describe i-it oh-no-no

Finally it has happened to me, Right in front of my face
My feelin's can't descri-ibe it, Finally it has happened to me
Right in front of my face, And I just cannot hi-ide it
Finally it has happened to me, Right in front of my face
My feelin's can't descri-ibe it, Finally it has happened to me
Right in front of my face, And I just cannot hi-ide it

Finally-y-y
Oh... finally-y-y-y yeah-eah, yeah-eah
Uh-uh-oh-oh, ... yeah-yeah-ow ..., ... yeah-yeah-ow ....

Finally it has happened to me, Right in front of my face
My feelin's can't descri-ibe it, Finally it has happened to me


Need I say more?

Mother's Day

There is much to say about mothers, that mere words cannot express our gratitude to this special person in our lives.

There is nothing in this world whom can ever replace such love and care which they unselfishly give to us.

And no thank you is ever enough to show how much we appreciate them.

But nevertheless, to all mothers in the world, whom we owe so much our lives and the person that we are (regardless of what kind of person we are!)

We love you and thank you.

And to my Mama, I love you so much.

Happy Mother's Day!

How Do We Define A Friend?

I am a bit upset today, not to mention sad.

Because of some people.

Which I thought friends.

So how do we define a friend? When you do call someone a friend?


1. Is a person your friend whenever you're in need, the person is there?
2. Does one a good friend when the person looks after you?
3. Is a person a friend when the person takes advantage of you?
4. How about those who only appear when they want to?
5. When they just need you?
6. What if you are a friend to the person because you have something useful and you are useful?
7. You always give the person a free-ride?
8. What if the person talks so much about you, behind you or hurt you?
9. Those who stick with you through thick and thin, defend you and loves you?
10.Or those who take advantage of you?

I, myself might be guilty of some of these, and I am sorry and will try to be better.
To those who are mostly belongs to this list, I am sorry also, the other way around that is for the value of friendship is way beyond all the materials things.


I have very, very few people I can call my friends, very few indeed and eventhough I only have a handful of them, I do keep them and treasure them.

I may not see most of my friends often, but I know they're there and I miss them so much. I am also glad that once in a while comes new friends and finding out they're for keeps.

The Prodigal Son

Almost everyone knows the story, and everyone can relate to it.
The story of the prodigal son applies to all and no one is exempted.

I am a prodigal son, I wandered the world and indulge to all pleasures it can offer, before that, I am an active Christian worker, leading Bible studies, leading the Church through Music Ministry and attended Sunday Service religiously.

Until one day, I turned away and never looked back.

Now, I am slowly coming back, maybe it is the spiritual hunger that I have been enduring all these years, maybe at this point the life that I thought would make me happy has become meaningless and lonely.

I remember, I was my happiest during Sunday service and singing my heart out to God.
Now, everything seemed to be superficial, shallow and empty.

It is so hypocritical for me to say that I don't backslide every now and then since I started to revive my spiritual life. In fact, it is an ongoing battle between good and evil daily, and I am always at the brink of giving up.

Sometimes in between prayers the temptation is strongest.

And everytime I pray the Rosary, or praying in general, I still feel UNEASY, it's as if there is an ongoing battle from what I am doing and it is always an effort. I feel uncomfortable, Iam catching my breath,I get tongue-tied and I forget the words.

My mannerism (eye-movement and body twitching) is on the rise, I see moving shadows in my bedroom when I turned off the light to sleep. A fly would buzz around me, irritably sometimes during Rosary time, the airconditioning unit would conk-out, releases hot air at very cool temperature for a minute, then resume its normal run again repeatedly!

You might say, and I thought also that my mind is playing tricks on me, or maybe the guilt I am feeling is just getting hold of me, but nevertheless, I know that these are all ways of the primeval enemy of God to keep hold of me, to confuse me and to make known to me that it is still fun to love the world and all it's splendor!

The more I control my urges, the MORE I am tempted to give in, unfortunately sometimes I do, and a quick pleasure is immediately replaced by heavy guilt and shame.

Still, after all these, like the Prodigal Son, I will try harder to return to the Father, for I know He is waiting for me to come home with open arms and forgiveness, that no matter what I made of myself, He won't care as long as I am willing to have a change of heart.