Missing You

I miss you, so much, it hurts.
I live from day to day without you, the memory of you haunts me.
Your eyes, your voice, your face.
You embraces, your sweet kisses, you sleeping beside me.
Me, watching you just lying there, like an angel.
Breathing so gently, so peaceful.
Have you dreamt of me?
Cause I have been dreaming of you too, when I sleep.
Alone, on our bed.
Everyday.
I miss you, so much, and I am aching.
My whole body is longing, and my soul is dying.
Will I ever see you again?
I am only to hope, with all my heart and prayer.

My Bestfriends

I miss my bestfriends, dearly. I miss our long talks that never seem to end. Specially in times like these, they always make me feel a lot better eventhough you'll hear the harshest and the truest words that hurt, and yet, like a stone that hits you in the head, brings me back to my senses and they are always there to help me start all over again.

See you soon guys.

Lie To Me

Lie, while you're even early
Deny, that you're in any hurry
Cry, and tell me not to worry
'Cause what I don't know, is never gonna hurt me

Breathe, now baby don't feel guilty
Deceive me, then just walk away
Leave me, the truth will only kill me
It's gotta be, it's gotta be this way

One more bad excuse
Before you turn me lose
Give me something to remember you by
Couldn't you offer me
A little dishonesty
Promise me you'll try
You'll lie to me

Go, your plane is not gonna stay
Slow, so I can take it in
And so you say you'll see me later
When you know you won't see me again

Please before you let go of me
Take me one more time
Appease me, tell me that you love me
That you haven't gone and change your mind

One more bad excuse
Before you turn me lose
Give me something to remember you by
Couldn't you offer me
A little dishonesty
Promise me you'll try
You'll lie to me

Lie, while you're even early
Deny, that you're in any hurry
Cry, and tell me not to worry
'Cause what I don't know, is never gonna hurt me

One more bad excuse
Before you turn me lose
Give me something to remember you by
Couldn't you offer me
A little dishonesty
Promise me you'll try
You'll lie to me

- Shane Mack (from the movie "Shelter")

To The Stranger

Passing stranger! You do not know
how longingly I look upon you,
you must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking
(it comes to me as a dream)

I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you,
all I recall'd as we flit by each other,
fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured,

you grew up with me, were a boy with me,
or a girl with me,
I ate with you and slept with you,
your body has become not yours only
nor left my body mine only,

you give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh as we pass,
you take of my beard, breast, hands in return,

I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you
when I sit alone or wake at night, alone
I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again
I am to see to it
I do not lose you.

- Walt Whitman

(to Ghassan)

11 Minutes - Paulo Coelho

I just read another Paulo Coelho masterpiece and as Wikipedia summarizes:

"Maria, from the interior of Brazil, goes to seek her fortune in Switzerland, only to find that reality is harsher than she expected and she ends up working in a brothel on Rue de Berne, the heart of Geneva's red-light district. The book deals with issues surrounding sex and sexuality, such as prostitution, and sacred sex in the context of love. Because of its graphic descriptions, the novel has been described as "erotic".

Maria is on journey to find what true love is but ends up letting her own life guide her. She enters a life that leads her down the path of sexual awakenings and almost leads to her self-destruction when she is introduced to all sides of sexual experience. When she has given up hope to find true love she meets a painter with whom she falls in love. And she must now choose where she is to take her life. Either to let it lead her or finally take control of her life and end this subtle self-destructive life she is leading. Just like many of Coelho's books, this book is also about a journey of self-discovery and sensitively explores the sacred nature of sex and love and invites us to confront our own prejudices and demons and embrace our own "inner light."



Also, in the story Maria concluded that it takes 11 minutes for a man and a woman to copulate till they reach climax thus the title.

I finished the book in a day for I found it hard to put down as I go deep into the story I find myself in Maria's shoes and had a recall of what I have been through. There were many instances that Maria's experiences were quite similar to what I have encountered during my sexual awakenings, naiveness, experimentation and curiosity.

The price I had to pay, the feeling of loss and shame, and yet the clarity of all reasons these things were done. The search for acceptance and love, of a person to love amidst all the chaos.

I won't tell about the ending, so as not to spoil it, but like Maria, quite similarly, I have yet to come home and hopefully find that one person, one particular person who would see the inner-light in me, would see more than the facade, but through me and see that one lonely soul that is waiting to be set free.

Why Do We Shout In Anger?

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout for that.'

'But, why shout when the other person is just next to you?' asked the saint. 'Isn't it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the saint.

Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.'

'What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

Examination of Conscience

To say that we all need forgiveness is to accept that we are all human, we forget we make mistakes, we are thoughtless, and we hurt others. And yet, God loves us even in our very weakness, and wants all of us to be reconciled to Himself and to one another. Let us now beg our merciful God for the Spirit of light that we may see our sins and sinful tendencies for the grace to name and claim them. And for the courage to feel shame and sorrow for them.

1. Blessed are the Poor in Spirit

Forgive us, Lord:
• for the times when we compared ourselves to others and thought ourselves better than them;
• for the times when we were stubborn, proud and judgmental;
• for the times we were overly-critical or full of excuses;
• for the times we hid our talents and abilities;
• for the times we failed to respond generously.
Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive one another.

2. Blessed are the Gentle

Forgive us, Lord:
• for the times our anger got the better of us and we refused to listen.
• for our violence, our recklessness and roughness, our disregard for other people's feelings.
• for our impatience with you, with others, with ourselves.
Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive one another.

3. Blessed are those who mourn

Forgive us, Lord:
• for being afraid to be vulnerable, failing to risk loving because we are afraid.
• for the many devious ways we avoid loneliness and all the pains of simply being human, forgetting that you were human and knew what it is like to suffer, too.
Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive one another.

4. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness

Forgive us, Lord:
• for being self-centered, for our lack of concern for others.
• for our indifference and passivity in the face of all the poor, the oppressed, the suffering, the abused, who are our marginalized brothers and sisters.
• for the small and big ways we participate in the injustice and oppression of the world.
Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive one another.

5. Blessed are the merciful

Forgive us, Lord,
• for our unkindness, for our lack of generosity to you, with others, and with ourselves.
• for our deriving pleasure at the misfortunes of others
• when we are insensitive and when we are too sensitive
Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive one another.

6. Blessed are the pure in heart

Forgive us, Lord
• for our lack of simplicity; for wanting more than we need
• for our lack of self-discipline, for our mistrust and cynicism, for our lack of honesty, even with ourselves
• for our envy and our jealousy that lead us to destroy our relationship.
Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive one another.

7. Blessed are the peacemakers

Forgive us, Lord:
• when we choose to hold on to our grudges, or get even, instead of choosing to love and forgive.
• for our gossiping, for our quarrels and wrangling, for all our anxiety.
Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive one another.

8. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake

Forgive us, Lord:
• for our failure to do what is right, because it is unpopular.
• for our non-committal silence when we needed to take a stand
• for our easy tolerance for the ways of the world, because we are afraid to be left out, afraid of not belonging.
Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive one another.

Prayer:
As we remember and look at all these our sins and sinful tendencies, look kindly upon us, O Lord, and have mercy. Remember us you wayward children, Lord. We long to come home to you. Bless us with the healing calm of your forgiveness, through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Our Father ...

Recited during Bro. Nono Alfonso, S.J.'s talk at MTQ Parish on Holy Thursday, March 20, 2008.